sleeping alone
Now I'm alone, listening to love songs.
Acoustic, piano, soft drumming, delicate bass, occasionally violin and other string instruments, and flowing vocals caress my red and warm earlobes.
And hour ago my fingertips touched soft skin and felt warm breath.
My nostrils filled with unparalleled, mesmerizing sweetness.
My body warm and mind torn by the obvious distraction on the screen and the underlying and unspoken desires.
I couldn't help but to build slight anticipation.
Anticipation dove into expectation, then I felt guilt.
Not with anything I'd done, but something I wanted to do, something I felt and couldn't undo.
It didn't happen, because ... it.... it just didn't.
And now I'm alone, listening to love songs.
My mind says I'm glad, but who listens to their mind?
My body says I'm dumb ... but I'd be stupid to live by my body's lack of inhibitions.
My heart is in the middle ... and when you're torn, you're vulnerable, therefore unreliable.