PoT: To Boldly Go.. (Part 1)
Episode One: To Boldly Go...
by omi
Voiceover by Captain: This is the RKD LOVE BOAT. Our mission is to seek out new civilisations and spread tru boi love and tennis ... To boldly go, where no gender has gone before!
"Captain's log, stardate 12672.578.4699, Captain Seiichi Ukemura reporting...
We have finally been despatched from the Federation Headquarters on the StarCruiser RKD LOVEBOAT with a brand new crew --"
"Captain!" Commander Sanada thundered into the room, a furious glare on his face, with a happy, beatific Lieutenant Commander Niou following at his heels. "Why the hell are we bringing this goddamnned evil android along with us on the ship??"
"Commander!" Captain Ukemura keyed off the ship's recorder and cast a slightly shocked and disapproving glance at his Number Two. "Your language!"
Commander Sanada did not miss a beat. "Sorry sir! I mean, Why the hell are we bringing this goddamnned evil android along with us on the ship, sir!"
"That's better," nodded Captain Ukemura serenely. "As commanding officers, we must always make sure to set a good example for the crew."
"But Captain!" said Commander Sanada agitatedly, stabbing repeatedly in the direction of the grey-haired, silver-eyed android standing behind him. "You brought him onboard. On our ship! Why, sir?! Why?! He's the reason why we were thrown out of headquarters in disgrace, don't you remember, sir? He and his stupid audio/visual hookup at the Annual Federation Executive Council Conference..."
Lt. Commander Niou gave a small polite cough. "Excuse me, Commander Sanada," Lt. Commander Niou murmured in his slightly inhuman voice. "However, I would like to point out in my defense that while I did take the liberty of hooking up my audio/visual receptors to the Federation's Conference AV equipment, I was not the one caught with my hand up my Captain's ass."
Commander Sanada flushed a deep, florid red. "CAPTAIN!"
Captain Ukemura sighed. Such are the weighty problems of leadership... He leaned back in his captain's chair, a pretty mustard-yellow fur-covered recliner. "Commander, I have accepted Lt. Commander's Niou request to be posted to the Love Boat because of his sterling skills and abilities in retro-fitting the ship's facilities to meet with my exacting standards. Do you have a problem with that?"
"But, but... Sir!" Commander Sanada burst out.
Captain Ukemura ignored his easily-riled Number Two. Really, while the man did look good in the spandex Federation uniform, he does get... so... excitable. "Now, Lt. Commander Niou," he asked coolly. "How are the modifications to the ship coming along?"
The android straightened up imperceptibly and reported. "Sir. I have already diverted the necessary power and processors from the Love Boat's weaponry system into the holodeck computers. The new pack of Pleasure Nights One Gazillion and Two.TM is currently being installed, and the first holodeck sims should be ready for your use in approximately 0.2987 star days."
"Excellent work, Mr Niou. Excellent work indeed." Captain Ukemura flashed a warm, dazzling smile at the android. "Remind me to log a commendation in your report."
"Thank you, sir." Lt Commander Niou preened only slightly, and flashed a challenging smirk to Sanada.
"Captain," said Sanada, sounding anguished. "You mean you brought him onboard just so he can upgrade the holodeck sims???"
"Ah," Lt. Commander Niou interrupted. "But this is not just any upgrade, Commander. This is the Pleasure Nights One Gazillion and Two.TM pack. Permit me to quote you the manufacturer's advisory." Without waiting for a response, Lt. Commander Niou blinked once, and then a new deep sexy voice was rolling out of his mouth.
"Pleasure nights, for the discerning customer. Come and experience one gazillion and two dark and wonderful scenarios filled with pleasure and delight. Reach for the heights of esctasy with our patented super-realistic virtual reality simulations that would feel so real... Pleasure Nights... Your Nights Will Never Be The Same Again."
Captain Ukemura smiled happily. "You see, Number Two? It would give us and our crew so much enjoyment in these long slow nights amidst the stars..."
Face red, Commander Sanada hastily interrupted. "Yes, yes. Fine, sir."
Captain Ukemura sighed softly. "Really, Number Two, you must learn to get your priorities right, or you will never advance to captaining your own ship."
Commander Sanada looked deeply into his captain's eyes and said in a deep soft voice. "I find that I still have a lot to learn from you, my captain. I am not yet fit to captain my own ship."
Captain Ukemura placed a slender pale hand against his heart. "Number Two..."
"My captain..."
"Captain? Commander?"
"You can leave now, Lt. Commander Niou," said Captain Ukemura and Commander Sanada firmly in unison.
As the door hissed shut after Lt. Commander Niou's back, Captain and Commander reverted back to looking deeply into each other's eyes.
"Captain..."
"Number Two..."
The pretty mustard-yellow fur-covered recliner creaked.