Softcore Porn
Now that i have your attention, i wanted to talk about softcore porn.
I was over at Faust's house the other night and we were flipping through channels late at night and found that there were a variety of softcore porns on.
I just want to say that these movies are ridiculous!
Outlandish plots, terrible acting, ridiculous scenarios, and the reason you keep watching isn't to find out if your three heroic lead girls can find the idol of pu-nani, escape the flaming skulls that guard the tomb, seduce the the mistress of the waterfall who doesn't know english in order to find the location to the secret tomb, or come back alive, its to see some god damn penetration AND IT NEVER HAPPENS.
Hence forth i think there should be ratings on softcore porn so you know what you are getting into before you become trapped into a giant disappointment..
here are a few we came up with.
LRVS - This program contains Long range vagina shots that amount to nothing.
UC - This Program contains Ugly chicks, Don't waste your time.
NP - This program contains no penetration, its a softcore porn you moron.
TN - Turn-back now warning, trust me you would be better off watching something else.
All in all softcore pron is meant to arouse the mind more than the body, but it come across like a really crappy comedy movie, and the only reason you are laughing is because it is so terrible. They should all be placed in a cargo ship with the new larry the cable guy movie and driven into a volcano... or fed to sharks.