State of mind
Ya, I feel really good right now. Even though at the same time I feel a little scared. It's all good though. I think i've almost become completely myself. It may sound weird but I feel so level headed, I know what I want. I know what's going on. I don't know it's hard to explain but I just feel so good. I was telling Julie earlier, I just feel so i'm out of drinking, I mean i'll still drink but I mean I have NO problem just sitting around and doing nothing on a weekend and if anyone else wants to join me then so be it :). I just feel like i'll be 24 in a few days and it's not what I want anymore. I want to be more serious about my life where I want to go, what I want to do. Not party and shite. Not saying I won't do it but not as much or it won't be like "ya the weekend!!! party!!!!". I have no problem with people who do drink and all that. Fine with me just where as before I would be like ok i'll go along with it, now i'm gonna be like you know what i'm just gonna chill or whatever. Even if that means my friends all go out without me then fine that's cool. I mean I won't stay in ALL the time but there will be days where i'm just gonna stay in. I mean even just rent movies and watch with friends on the weekend. That would be cool. I love watching movies and it seems like I don't do it anymore cause we're always drinking. So, next Friday i'm gonna come home from school around 9 and i'm gonna rent or watch movies that I have. If anyone wants to join me you are more than welcome :). I feel good SO good. Both feet on the ground. Yes, woot! I haven't felt this good honestly since I went to Yeehaw night with Laurie, Derek and Julie. Or it was around that time I started going out again to Gracies and all that. That was a fun time. Those couple of weeks I felt so unstoppable. Word, so amazing. If anyone wants to see inside my head just read the lyrics from the Nine Inch Nails album "With Teeth". It's all there. Woot, SUCH a good album. Maybe not all of it is what i'm saying but Only, and With Teeth yargeegeg, awesome. There's this part in With Teeth where it slows down and it is so awesome it gives me chills. It's got piano with this type of electronic keyboard over top it and oh man it's awesome. Highly recommended listening!