argh
i'm annoyed. by people. in general.
don't know what's been going through my mind lately. all i want to do is stay home and play RF Online, or watch Star Trek Voyager DVD's from season 1-7. i can hardly work for more than an hour before feeling like i need a break and wondering why i have to work on this crap. my nights are spent doing the two things i've mentioned earlier and fending off invites to go out from my cadre of unemployed/dependent on parent friends who don't have cars yet want to go hang somewhere other than at home and have too much free time to know what to do with it. on the other hand, the other half of my cadre spend so much time at work that they're rarely free, and if they are don't really feel like going out with us and waste a whole night doing nothing but sitting around cracking jokes and making nonsense.
maybe mom was right(!) when she has that disapproving look in her eyes whenever she asks me about one of my friends and discover(again) that they still haven't really done anything with their life other than attend school. and these friends of mine are already approaching mid 20's. maybe they are bad influences, or at least unprofitable influences who dissuade me from getting work done. as if i needed more dissuading. i'm already lazy enough as it is.
it even translates to having relations with people too. i'm too lazy to cultivate relationships/build networks with people who mihgt be beneficial to know. i can't remember names or facts about a particular person that was introduced to me, and i can't make the effort of trying to converse with them. most of my conversations come about due to lack of adequate excuses to NOT have to talk to someone. and it starts to get irritating after that and i'm already thinking of ways to end conversations respectfully.
it happens every time. i can't stick to the point long enough to make a point, since i'd rather ALWAYS get it done and over with. my thoughts during these times include wishing they'd get my point ASAP so i don't have to explain anymore or i don't have to talk to them anymore. i don't mind listening, but thinking of things to say has got me stumped.
don't know what's been going through my mind lately. all i want to do is stay home and play RF Online, or watch Star Trek Voyager DVD's from season 1-7. i can hardly work for more than an hour before feeling like i need a break and wondering why i have to work on this crap. my nights are spent doing the two things i've mentioned earlier and fending off invites to go out from my cadre of unemployed/dependent on parent friends who don't have cars yet want to go hang somewhere other than at home and have too much free time to know what to do with it. on the other hand, the other half of my cadre spend so much time at work that they're rarely free, and if they are don't really feel like going out with us and waste a whole night doing nothing but sitting around cracking jokes and making nonsense.
maybe mom was right(!) when she has that disapproving look in her eyes whenever she asks me about one of my friends and discover(again) that they still haven't really done anything with their life other than attend school. and these friends of mine are already approaching mid 20's. maybe they are bad influences, or at least unprofitable influences who dissuade me from getting work done. as if i needed more dissuading. i'm already lazy enough as it is.
it even translates to having relations with people too. i'm too lazy to cultivate relationships/build networks with people who mihgt be beneficial to know. i can't remember names or facts about a particular person that was introduced to me, and i can't make the effort of trying to converse with them. most of my conversations come about due to lack of adequate excuses to NOT have to talk to someone. and it starts to get irritating after that and i'm already thinking of ways to end conversations respectfully.
it happens every time. i can't stick to the point long enough to make a point, since i'd rather ALWAYS get it done and over with. my thoughts during these times include wishing they'd get my point ASAP so i don't have to explain anymore or i don't have to talk to them anymore. i don't mind listening, but thinking of things to say has got me stumped.