Fic: The Revenge Of The PT-73 (3/3)
Title: The Revenge Of The PT-73 (3/3)
Author: BradyGirl_12
Pairings/Characters: (this chapter) Harrison 'Tinker' Bell, Virgol Edwards, Joseph 'Happy' Haines, Lester Gruber, George 'Christy' Christopher, Quinton McHale, Chuck Parker
Fandom: McHale's Navy
Genres: Drama, Historical, Horror
Rating (this chapter): R
Warnings (this chapter): Gore
Spoilers: For PT 73, Where Are You? (1x04)
General Summary: The crew of the PT-73 is spooked by strange happenings centered around their boat.
Chapter Summary: During night patrol, everything that can go wrong, does.
Date Of Completion: November 1, 2022
Date Of Posting: December 5, 2022
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, Universal does, more’s the pity.
Word Count (this chapter): 2084
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author's Notes: Inspired by the episode, PT 73, Where Are You? (1x04), which was written by Joseph Heller, author of Catch-22. This episode is also notable for Virgil wearing nothing but little black shorts. 😉
The entire series can be found here.
III
THE HAUNTED PATROL
Redbeard The Pirate
1692 C.E.
The day dragged at first but seemed to speed up of its own accord. Suddenly the crew realized that they were in no hurry for evening to come because it meant night patrol!
Tensions grew to the point of snappishness among the men. As they worked on repairing nets they needed in case of rescue missions like Marauna, the griping about their haunted boat took a turn.
Tinker narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger at Virgil. "This is all your fault."
"Huh?"
"You, Lover Boy. If you weren't so hot for the dames, we wouldn't be in this mess."
"Now just a minute..."
"Stow it, Romeo. You losing the 73 ended up with us having to switch with the 116. This boat is straight-up trouble."
"That's right," Happy grumbled.
"Look, guys, I'm sorry...."
"Can it, Virg." Gruber shook his head as if addressing a recalcitrant schoolboy.
"You better hope we can survive this haunted boat," Tinker groused.
Virgil could feel the freeze as his crewmates walked away. Even Christy shook his head. He was upset but continued working on the nets. Having something to do helped a little.
i guess I deserve it. I did take the 73 and lose her to start this whole mess. He sighed. Why am I always in overdrive when it comes to women? My looks gives me a big advantage with 'em, but all this skirt-chasing is.. what is that word I learned in high school Psych class?...oh, yeah, overcompensation. What am I overcompensating for? He glanced down at his pants with a little smile, which faded as he remembered even Christy abandoning him. He sighed again and resumed repairs.
& & & & & &
Lunch continued the freeze. It was subtle, but Virgil knew he was being ignored. The Skip and Mr. Parker were too busy discussing their patrol route for tonight to notice.
Virgil left as soon as he could without attracting notice from the officers. He wandered down to the dock, stopping several feet away from the boat.
i always feel calm by the water. Always used to around the original 73.
Now he worried about the machine gun he used. He just knew it was out to get him, crazy as that sounded. He stared at the boat with folded arms, rubbing one arm
"Hey."
He jumped slightly. "Oh, hi, Christy."
"You okay?" Virgil shrugged. "Look, the guys are just nervous. Ya gotta admit, weird stuff has been happening."
"Yeah."
"Don't sweat it." Christy put a hand on his shoulder. "Just be patient. They'll come around. You know us sailors, always superstitious."
Virgil smiled slightly. "That's for sure "
Christy patted his friend's shoulder. "C'mon, we've got to get ready for patrol. I need some help with some navigational charts."
Virgil smiled gratefully. "Okay "
The two seamen left the dock. The .50-caliber machine gun in Virgil's turret creaked as the boat bobbed gently at its mooring.
& & & & & &
Nervousness pervaded the air as the crew climbed aboard the faux PT-73. Christy wondered if he should worry about the .50-caliber being behind him. Virgil wondered if his machine gun was going to shoot him, and Happy felt the same with his own gun. Gruber checked the torpedo tubes while Tinker poked around in the shadows of the engine room. Willy focused a wary eye on the radio while McHale and Chuck conferred on the journey for tonight with Christy. The PT-73 was on its way as Christy headed for the open sea.
Moonlight shimmered on the water as the PT-73 thrummed over the waves. Everyone was on edge, of course.
McHale barked his orders and the men hurried to obey. They could feel something in the air, that this night would bring everything to a head.
The islands they passed were silent sentinels, dark shapes in the darker night. No other boats or ships could be seen.
Like we're the last survivors, thought McHale, kicking himself for the thought.
Christy grimaced as he fought the wheel. The 73 shuddered as a black shape loomed up out of the night.
Below decks, Willy grimaced as his radio sparked static off and on, coming on without him.
"Jap destroyer at 11 o'clock!" screamed Happy.
"Christy, evasive maneuvers!" McHale ordered
Christy continued struggling with the recalcitrant wheel.
"C'mon, Christy!"
"I'm tryin', Skip! The wheel refuses to turn."
McHale grabbed the wheel and he and Christy managed to turn it just enough to avoid the enormous destroyer, which barely scraped the side of the 73. Even with a whisper of contact, the 73 rocked violently in the destroyer's wake.
"C'mon, steady this scow!" McHale.looked at Christy, who was wrestling with the wheel.
The waters churned and Happy yelped as his gun swerved and took aim at him.
Gruber yelled, "Jap sub at seven o'clock!"
"Holy Hannah!" McHale exclaimed. "Gruber, ready Torpedo One."
Gruber hurried to comply
"Skip, we're still kinda stuck," Christy protested.
"Fire One!" shouted McHale.
"Fire One!" Gruber echoed as he pushed the firing button. The torpedo leaped out of its tube and headed for the submarine.
McHale watched intently and used body English to try and guide the torpedo. He grimaced as the weapon just missed.
"Fire Two!"
Gruber.pushed the button. Torpedo No. 2 jumped through the water as the sub fired,. Happy grabbed his gun and added the .50-caliber to the attack just as Virgil opened up on his side. The second torpedo found the target.
"Direct hit!" yelled Happy.
The sub began to sink and some of the Japanese were able to evacuate and use life rafts. A sudden wave rocked the 73 and Virgil's gun swung around and knocked him into the water.
"Virg!" yelled Happy.
Christy turned around and shouted, "Gruber, help him!"
Virgil was splashing through the water and suddenly noticed a fin coming at him steadily. Terror thrummed along his veins.
"Shark!" he screamed.
Gruber's mouth dropped open in shock. He quickly grabbed the small net with a handle to help those overboard. "Hurry, Virg!"
The fire from the submarine cast a lurid glow on the scene of a desperate Virgil swimming for his life. Gruber netted him and Virgil yelped, scrambling aboard just ahead of an enormous shark's lunge out of the water. Both men screamed as the shark made it onto the boat, sliding toward them. They quickly used a pole and rifle to hit the shark, frantic to get it off the boat.
Christy ran down to help, using a pole and bludgeoning the shark as its huge jaw snapped at Virgil's legs. Christy shoved him out of the way and he and Gruber kicked the shark to the edge.
Down in the radio room, the radio started its static again. Willy frowned. It sounded as if m messages were being sent back and forth, but all he heard was the static. Shouts from above made him nervous. He heard Happy swear and wondered if he should go above.
A burst of especially loud static startled him. Words were fragmented as he heard, "Rock (static) and dump the (static) in the water. (Loud burst of static.) Protect this (static) crew."
Suddenly the boat rocked hard, nearly pitching Willy out of his chair. He grabbed onto the console and tried to contact whoever had talked.
Gruber grabbed Christy as the boat tipped precariously, nearly sending him to the shark's gaping jaws. Virgil put his arms around Christy's waist and all three watched as the hungry shark slid right off the boat and into the water.
Everyone stood motionless as they stared down at the water. The shark was circling, ready for another attempt.
"Get us out of here, Skip!" yelled Gruber.
McHale piloted the 73 toward the submarine to pick up survivors. Meanwhile, Christy and Gruber were asking Virgil if he was all right.
"I can't believe it happened."
"Remember, complete frisking," McHale said as the prisoners came aboard.
"Right, Skip," said Christy. He gave Virgil a pat on the shoulder and returned to the bridge on shaking legs.
Happy trained his gun on the prisoners coming aboard. Virgil and Gruber helped them aboard, then ran a rope around the prisoners and knotted it tight. Gruber kept a rifle trained on them while Virgil returned to his turret and focused his gun on the prisoners. None of the Japanese dared to make a move.
Storm clouds were gathering on the horizon. McHale muttered, "Now what?" He told Christy, "Speed 'er up."
McHale listened to the chatter amongst the prisoners. There were unflattering remarks about the crew. He raised an eyebrow at one comment.
"What is it, Skip?"
"Your blond hair is causing comment."
"Yeah?" Christy kept his eyes on the path home. "I hope it's complimentary."
"In a manner of speaking." At Christy's puzzled look McHale said, "Better you don't know."
McHale decided to keep their comments about Virgil to himself. Good thing we're not the prisoners is all I can say. He frowned as he hoped they could get back to Taratupa without further trouble. He motioned Virgil up to the bridge.
"You okay, boy? You were almost shark chow "
"You're not kiddin', Skip." Virgil laid a hand on his chest. "My heart's still triphammering."
"'I'm with ya, Virg," said Christy. "I'm still shakin' in my boots."
"Never saw a shark be able to get up onto the boat before," said McHale.
"I'll be havin' nightmares for weeks," said Virgil with a shudder.
"I'll be right behind you." Christy tacked to port.
"Gruber will probably find a way to make money off it," McHale said.
"He'll start selling anti-shark repellent," Happy joked from his gun turret.
Everyone laughed. The prisoners rolled their eyes.
& & & & & &
Somehow they managed to outrun the storm and put into Taratupa, marching their prisoners to the brig. They had berthed next to the 116, and now both boats bobbed gently at their moorings.
The radios began sparking as a sailor walked by the docks. He looked around, listened, then shrugged and continued walking.
The engines started and each boat's lines unknotted as the 73 and 116 backed out, paused as they faced each other, and took each other's place.
& & & & & &
McHale had insisted that his men get checked out at the hospital after the shark attack. They were all pronounced in perfect health.
McHale and his crew made their way down to the dock. The chatter was about the recent mission, Tinker shaking his head. "You guys got real lucky."
"Tell me about it," Gruber said. "I haven't seen teeth like that since my Aunt Sadie went to the dentist."
The men grinned while McHale frowned.
"What's wrong, Skip?" asked Willy
"I could've sworn we berthed here, not the 116."
"Huh?* Christy looked at the 116. "I think you're right."
"I've got a foolproof method of figuring out this deal," said Gruber.
"What are you talkin' about, Gruber?" asked McHale.
"Here's our chance, Skip. We transfer our stashes and Willy repaints the number and we've got the old 73 back. Carpenter and his crew get the haunted boat!"
"Brilliant, Grube!"
"A-1, Gruber!"
"You're a genius!"
"C'mon, you schlockmeisters, let's get to it!" said McHale.
The beer, pretzels and comic books were transferred from the faux 73 to the faux 116. Willy quickly changed the numbers, and the crew scampered aboard the 73, their 73, and headed for the island
& & & & & &
Everyone seemed back to normal, McHale thought with satisfaction. The boat wasn't haunted, the crew had forgiven Virgil, his old gun was not trying to kill him, and all was well. There were not stories of strange goings-on with the 116, so maybe both boats were happy, because he was convinced that something has been up with them, as crazy as that sounded.
As he sat in his favorite chair out in the common area and drank a rum punch while watching his crew doing chores and talking with each other, getting along well, he thought about recent events..
Virgil got us into this mess. Always chasing the skirts, and might get us in trouble again. Maybe he'd be better to look closer to home.
He saw Virgil talking to Christy, touching the blond lightly on the arm, and a lightbulb went on over his head. He rubbed his hands gleefully.
"Time for matchmaking, Virgil honey."
And after that, maybe some more haunted stories around the campfire.
The PT-73 bobbed in contentment at her mooring.
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