Rudy

Jun 02, 2004 18:51

Been almost a month since my last update.. Nothing really important has happened until yesterday.

A friend was taken from this world like a train through a parked car.

I might not have been Rudy's best friend, but I know we cared about each other. He came to the Carebears only show and told me I was good even though I didnt know what the fuck I was doing.

I am going to do two things for Rudy, one because he always wanted me to, and the other as a remembrance for the both of us.

Today I am going to Subway, I am going to order a footlong sub, and I am going to put Jalapenos all fucking over it. And I am going to eat it, and then I am going to vomit, and the next day get Diahrria. Why? Cause Rudy always put those motherfuckers all over any sub he made for me.

Second, Im going to go buy 2 windchimes. Rudy stole my mom's and never gave it back, so I am going to get one to leave at his grave, for the both of us. I wish I was as creative as he was and could make it more interesting, but I am going to get the cheesiest one because somehow I feel that would be the best for the both of us. The other one, I am going to put on my porch so Rudy can be with me always.

I hope everyone can deal with this. I hate the way I am because I dont act as emotional as others do. I guess because the way I grew up, and seeing alot of things happen, like fistfights between my Dad and Stepmom and my mom crying because of money and just struggling to live, that I learned to supress emotions of sadness or frustrations and to look strong. So if Im being my typical obnoxious self anyone, please understand that its hard for me to express feelings such as this. If anyone on here needs me for any reason, please get in touch
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