Crappy musings from BRAD
Musings. This isn’t some kind of stand-up comedy routine; however, I haven’t done any stand-up for a while so perhaps what I write down here may well have made it into a routine had I done one recently. Anyway, this is what has been going through my head recently.
1. Why are the cows in the Brownes flavoured-milk ads male? Surely they should be female. The connotation given in the commercials are that these are the cows that produce the various types of milk, like mocha cow, or coffee cow etc.
2. Why did the aliens in War of the Worlds think of everything except HOW TO SURVIVE IN OUR ATMOSPHERE? For those people who haven’t seen the movie, I’ve probably ruined it for you. However, the ending was fucked anyway. These super-advanced aliens come down with impregnable defensive mechanisms and ultra-evolved senses, but they all start dying at the end because they couldn’t live in our surroundings. If you ask a small child why we don’t go to Mars, he or she would respond, “because we can’t survive”. Why didn’t these aliens think of that. Therefore, that movie is crap.
3. Why is it when people play tennis and they do a bad shot, they repeat the swing as if to say “oh, that’s how I should have done it.” Why is it that the ‘ghost-swing’ is always the good swing? Maybe that swing was much worse.
4. Why wasn’t the Dumbledore in the latest Harry Potter movie a lot more ‘regal’? I like Michael Gambon, but he’s no Richard Harris. I say we exhume the latter’s corpse!
There.
1. Why are the cows in the Brownes flavoured-milk ads male? Surely they should be female. The connotation given in the commercials are that these are the cows that produce the various types of milk, like mocha cow, or coffee cow etc.
2. Why did the aliens in War of the Worlds think of everything except HOW TO SURVIVE IN OUR ATMOSPHERE? For those people who haven’t seen the movie, I’ve probably ruined it for you. However, the ending was fucked anyway. These super-advanced aliens come down with impregnable defensive mechanisms and ultra-evolved senses, but they all start dying at the end because they couldn’t live in our surroundings. If you ask a small child why we don’t go to Mars, he or she would respond, “because we can’t survive”. Why didn’t these aliens think of that. Therefore, that movie is crap.
3. Why is it when people play tennis and they do a bad shot, they repeat the swing as if to say “oh, that’s how I should have done it.” Why is it that the ‘ghost-swing’ is always the good swing? Maybe that swing was much worse.
4. Why wasn’t the Dumbledore in the latest Harry Potter movie a lot more ‘regal’? I like Michael Gambon, but he’s no Richard Harris. I say we exhume the latter’s corpse!
There.