Reset
In my line of work, January seems to be all about reorganizing and getting things in order, whether it's reassigning positions on a council or making sure a contract is properly established and ratified for employees.
But now, January's my reset point. I know it's cliche with all the New Year's resolutions that flop by the 31, but I've got a little more on the line here and this is more than any resolution would ever be, it's been brewing since I got sick in August.
I had two major things happen, thus far. Last time I was in Morgantown, I went somewhere I hadn't gone in probably six or more years; church.
I went with Kelly and, the entire time, I probably looked scared or like I didn't know what was going on. I at least felt as though I was there looking wide-eyed and scared, but it was amazing how I felt afterwards. I felt as though a burden, while not lifted, was lightened. I actually took something from it. I'm going to be making a concious effort to continue to go on Sundays, if not just to have time to quietly reflect and meditate.
Am I going to act like I'm this "Holier than thou" type of person now that I go and tell people how they should go? No. I'm not a born-again type that's dedicating my life to it. But I think it did me good to go. Now to find one around here... I live in the Jewish neighborhood, so that should make it a little difficult, but I'll find one.
The second was more of a realization. I lost something very important last August...my focus. I took my eyes off of what I really want, and that's to be healthy. I've put a bunch of weight back on (just typing that sentence is difficult, but I've been told I need to admit it before I can fix it). I was eating whatever I want and it hurt me, big time.
So what have I been doing to remedy my current physical state? Well, I fell into a couple bad eating habits (candy breaks, bagels for breakfast), which I've cut out completely. I've been going through an all-natural detox and portion control binge last week. I've been eating just fruits and veggies, sprinkled in with some cheese and the occaisional Weight Watchers microwavable entree (the nice thing, instant portion control, once it's gone, it's gone, but as I was told by a pro this week, I can eat an entire bag of salad if I want...huzzah!). I've got fat-free/low-cal salad spritzers instead of dressing, I'm also spicing it all up with different veggies, like baby portabello mushrooms.
I've also been spending a lot more time at Shadyside X, the gym over in the respective neighborhood. I've been running my ass off and doing about 150 crunches daily. While I've only been doing the natural detox thing for the last week and working out as hard as I can for the last two, in the last two weeks I've lost eight pounds. I'm back on my way.
It's time to get back on track. Lately, I've had away messages about how my walls are falling down, and I sincerely believe that's true. They have been. They're not being knocked down by anybody or because of anybody, except for me. If I were to put that blame on anybody else, I'd be competely out of line and irresponsible in saying so, I don't need to cop out.
After a good long talk, I had someone I trust advise me to start goal setting. He advised it'd be for the best to go with a long-term goal. So after talking about it, we've come up with "42 by Christmas." It sounds strange, but is a completely attainable goal.
When I was sick, I dropped about 40 lbs. from dehydration and lack of nutrition. That got my waistline down to a 42 (and even then they were kind of baggy) and my shirt size was down to a XL. Those were sizes I was wearing when Iwas in sixth grade (I was a big boy). Right now, I'm rockin' a 46 or 47 waistline, depending on the brand. We talked about it and decided it's completely possible to lose 4 inches off the waist in 11 months.
So I've got my focus, someone to talk to and somewhere to go to center myself. Guess what, you're all getting a brand new Brad.