Feb 07, 2008 19:02
A Memory:
I return from the last run and finish my duties in a flash, mechanically, at the highest setting. I storm into the office... cursory waves at my friends at the desks, driving straight at the manager's office as if it were downhill.
Although my approach was silent, the two people talking look up as my presence enters the room. They look like children playing when the devil rises out of the sandbox.
"Can we talk," I say quickly.
The other person gathers their things, leaves, shuts the door. I look over to a filing cabinet while I gather my thoughts.
"What's up Brad," he says.
My words stumble on each other. "I had a recent trauma in my life. I've been trying to get over it but today I had a patient and I realized I didn't care if they lived or died. I did everything right to save them but I did it mechanically... I didn't care. That can't go on."
I look up.
"I need some time off... to sort out things."
To my surprise he simply says "I'll cover your shifts. ...How much time do you need?"
"Two weeks." I look down in thought. "I should have everything figured out in two weeks."
I look up.
"Thank you for this."
"No problem... take care of yourself, okay?" He looks like he wants to give me a hug, sees the folly of that from my expression.
I leave far away, to be alone in the desert.