"The Inside Man"

[brad_chase]

Comments

[alan_shore]

I'd comment as well, but seeing as I'm not blonde, I don't think I'm invited.

[brad_chase]

If you can invoke petitio pincipii this early in the morning, you're certainly smart enough to share your thoughts. Nothing's stopped you before.

[alan_shore]

I'm not going to argue with you, Brad, but my contradicting myself doesn't necessarily require the invocation of logical fallacies. Besides, I'm sure you'll pepper me with questions enough without my having to resort to begging.

That said, the portion I found most interesting was the transition from your erection (I guarantee Shakespeare is now spinning in his grave at a very fine clip) to giving me a hand.

[brad_chase]

Right. Okay. Question one: Are you disappointed you didn't get an attitude transplant for Christmas? Question two: Would this interest be your way of resurrecting your perv sicko fantasies?

[alan_shore]

Answer one: Why should I be disappointed when it was your Christmas wish that went unfulfilled? I'm rather chuffed, thank you for asking. Answer two, I wasn't aware they'd ever died.

[brad_chase]

You didn't factor into any part of my Christmas, sport. My New Years goals, however, are in order and you're a major plot line.

C'mon. I'll get you a cup of coffee. Seems I have some influence there, at least.

[alan_shore]

I'm honored to have been granted a supporting role in the sweeping drama that is your life. So long as I won't be needing to make use of any prosthetics.

*raises eyebrows* You hold sway with grounds and filters? Why Brad, you grow more impressive by the minute.

[brad_chase]

False modesty is not a good look on you. You're above the title - my antagonist. I know you'd prefer Deus ex machina, but there you go.

Are you missing that body part?

*walks toward the elevator* Aren't you coming? There's a whole new crowd you've yet to mock me in front of.

[alan_shore]

A billing. I suppose someone had the sense to realize your name lacked box-office clout. How's about you're Victor Laszlo and I'm Rick Blaine?

If I say no, are you going to propose an inspection to be sure?

*takes his time in catching up* The percolator and the fridge? My wit is lost on them. I think the percolator's still harboring a grudge from my last attempt to wrest coffee from it.

[brad_chase]

That sounds about right. We have shared women.

Try me.

The shop in the lobby - and what drugs are you on, Alice?

[alan_shore]

I wouldn't call it sharing. I'd say you leased.

*looks him over* Do it yourself.

*raises an eyebrow* The usual suspects, and not in sufficient quantities for me to answer to any pet names.

[brad_chase]

While you rented.

What?

Let's see if we can't accelerate the effects with caffeine, Al.

[alan_shore]

I liked it better when we were in Morocco.

Perform your own inspection of yourself.

Are you under the impression that plying me with stimulants will somehow result in increased affability?

[brad_chase]

So be it. We'll go to Rick's Bar - but you know I'll have to turn you in for fraternizing with the Nazi's.

I know what's there.

*rolls eyes* Don't take away my hope.

[alan_shore]

It was a cafe, meaning there was room for a roulette table. And there wouldn't be anyone for you to turn me in to, other than the Nazis themselves.

Are you asking that I verify?

I was going to suggest you give depressants a try.

[brad_chase]

Then it's a good thing we're in Boston in 2006. How do you ring in the new year? Is that where Lizzie comes into play?

Alan. Step away from... *furrows* Just what is it you and Denny are involved in, anyway?

There's a Young Republicans Christian Coalition meeting if you think it'll help.