i try to play cool actin like what you do don't phase me
so christmas is really super soon. its actually kind of shocking to me. i feel like it just snuck up on me and didn't even tell me it was coming. i still have some christmas shopping to do for my friends. and some other people. ahhh when am i going to do that. i work all the good times to go shopping. actually i should probably get off my ass today and get my shit done so that i can go to the mall before work and get most of it done. i know pretty much what i want to get people, i just have to get out there and get it.
i'm really doing a lot better at the new job then i though. in reality its not all that new of a job anymore. i started in august at jack creek and hated it with every ounce of my being. i had no idea what i was doing and felt that i would never get the hang of it. mostly because my brother told me when i was applying that i could "never be a waitress, you would suck at it." but you know what, i think that made me want to do it even more and excel at it. i wanted to do it and be really good at it to prove him wrong. and thats just what i did. i'm not to shabby of a waitress if i must say so myself. although...there are times i want a different job.
i don't know whether its completely ridiculous, but it feels right. i forgave leann. we kinda just started being friends again in the middle of the semester. i had lunch with brian and it was kind of like a revelation. we talked about how i missed her and she was like my best friend. she really was. and i'm so glad she is back now. we know each other too well and basically do everything together. she works next door to me at applebees and thats so fun. i love it. i love our new found/rekindled friendship. i just don't think most people would understand that...
in ways i'm looking forward to christmas to give other people gifts. i really am. i'm so proud of all the things that i got for people because i think that everyone will really like what i got them. and then its just like a slap in the face though when someone gives you what they got you, and you can tell they put absolutely no thought into your gift, and you put so much into theirs. oh well, i guess some people just don't care. its also about family and how vanessa(oh yeah her and the brother are engaged now) is so right that my family is divorced. not in the traditional way that most people think of. but the fact that my parents and my nan and aunt don't really talk ever. they are like cut off from each other. and of course my brother and i are in the middle. its hard. and every year i hate it, but there is really nothing i can do about it. i feel so torn :/
i'm really doing a lot better at the new job then i though. in reality its not all that new of a job anymore. i started in august at jack creek and hated it with every ounce of my being. i had no idea what i was doing and felt that i would never get the hang of it. mostly because my brother told me when i was applying that i could "never be a waitress, you would suck at it." but you know what, i think that made me want to do it even more and excel at it. i wanted to do it and be really good at it to prove him wrong. and thats just what i did. i'm not to shabby of a waitress if i must say so myself. although...there are times i want a different job.
i don't know whether its completely ridiculous, but it feels right. i forgave leann. we kinda just started being friends again in the middle of the semester. i had lunch with brian and it was kind of like a revelation. we talked about how i missed her and she was like my best friend. she really was. and i'm so glad she is back now. we know each other too well and basically do everything together. she works next door to me at applebees and thats so fun. i love it. i love our new found/rekindled friendship. i just don't think most people would understand that...
in ways i'm looking forward to christmas to give other people gifts. i really am. i'm so proud of all the things that i got for people because i think that everyone will really like what i got them. and then its just like a slap in the face though when someone gives you what they got you, and you can tell they put absolutely no thought into your gift, and you put so much into theirs. oh well, i guess some people just don't care. its also about family and how vanessa(oh yeah her and the brother are engaged now) is so right that my family is divorced. not in the traditional way that most people think of. but the fact that my parents and my nan and aunt don't really talk ever. they are like cut off from each other. and of course my brother and i are in the middle. its hard. and every year i hate it, but there is really nothing i can do about it. i feel so torn :/