innocence was bliss...
Lots of reading going on lately. Lots of watching. Absorbing. Punctuated by a sex toy party, but that's another story...
I don't know how I feel lately. But it's very complicated. I want to be held. And not in that "I just watched a chick flick" way, but in the "I'm scared" way. And there's a lot that utterly terrifies me these days. There's just a strong desire in me for so many things, in so many directions, and I can't sort out how I want to feel at the end of my life...
I want knowledge, I want acceptance, I want confidence, I want creative passion, I want talent, I want respect, I want security, I want understanding, I want reassurance, and I want something, somewhere that isn't somehow trying to sway me--I want information.
I don't want people to hurt, and I want to know how to deal with the fact that people will always hurt, that this will hurt me and the others who want to help. How do you cope with being so vulnerable and powerless?
Sorry I've been so down lately, I hope I'll have happier things to write soon...
You knwo what I want, most of all? I want to be kept.
I don't know how I feel lately. But it's very complicated. I want to be held. And not in that "I just watched a chick flick" way, but in the "I'm scared" way. And there's a lot that utterly terrifies me these days. There's just a strong desire in me for so many things, in so many directions, and I can't sort out how I want to feel at the end of my life...
I want knowledge, I want acceptance, I want confidence, I want creative passion, I want talent, I want respect, I want security, I want understanding, I want reassurance, and I want something, somewhere that isn't somehow trying to sway me--I want information.
I don't want people to hurt, and I want to know how to deal with the fact that people will always hurt, that this will hurt me and the others who want to help. How do you cope with being so vulnerable and powerless?
Sorry I've been so down lately, I hope I'll have happier things to write soon...
You knwo what I want, most of all? I want to be kept.