all by my self

[br_eyed_girl]

hi. well wes is leaving in the morning and i already miss him. i've got this huge house all to myself for five days. wohoo. nothing new really just trying to get back on track. the last few months have been tough but i guess what doesn't kill me is supposed to make me stronger. we'll see. at least i have chloe, she'll never leave me.
work is okay, very disorganized but at least it pays well. maybe someday i'll even get to work with the camera. someday.
i had this random thought the other day about going to rehab to make some new friends but i'm not sure that what your supposed to do there. i think your supposed to concentrate on finding out what is wrong in your life and why you abuse drugs and alcohol. i think, but i don't know because you have to quit to go to rehab. not ready for that reality yet.
anyway maybe some day i'll feel better about myself, life, etc. maybe i'll stop crying everytime i think about a lost friend. i wish i could be angry but all i feel is pain. i could write an essay on the magnitude of the pain that is humanly possible to live through. maybe there is some kind of friend rehab. you never know.
anyway that's all for now, gotta go find somekinda vice
love to you all