(no subject)
it's bittersweet. I didn't really notice how much the end of this year means to me. i mean i've been counting down the days to get out of King Philip since I was a freshman. ive always hated it there. but, i stuck it out there and while i stuck it out, i made some memories along the way. i guess i owe that school something, i mean i grew up within it's walls over the past four years. the person i was when i entered KP is much different then the person I am graduating as. i know that come graduation day i will be overwhelmed with excitement of moving on, never having to deal with that place again or the people. but at the same time that i can't wait to get out, i'll miss things about it. won't we all. i mean i suffered through what i believe to be the hardest years of our lives at kp. I made friends, i lost friends. i made mistakes, i achieved goals. i just know that i am happy with the person that i have become. come graduation day i'll be psyched to walk across the stage and know that it's over. but naturally, i'll have some regrets. & of course, i'll wonder how different it could have been. last night jay and i talked for the first time since the beginning of last summer. it got me thinking of how much we've all changed, and grown, grown apart, grown together, all of the above. we've made some pretty good memories. we've had some pretty good laughs. we've cried. we've screamed. we've gotten angry. regretted. felt alone. felt wanted. gossiped. was gossiped about. highschool, god i think i can't wait for it to be over. but i know that the week before i head off to springfield next fall i'll need a good push of encouragement to start the new chapter in my life. i'm nervous. i'm excited. it's weird how every ending is a new beginning. it's weird that we think of ourselves as "so old" at the age of seventeen and eighteen. assuming we live to a hundred which we all won't but it's something to hope for...but assuming we do...we haven't even lived a quarter of our lives yet. years from now, high school won't even matter. it's definitely a bittersweet thought to know that it's over, but in time...these years won't be important. i guess more so i'm thankful for the lessons i've learned in the past four years, the friends i've made, the things enemies have taught me, the encouragement of teachers, guidence counselors and such. i'm glad i made it through high school. it's funny how when you're young you can't wait to grow up and be in high school. i guess this is what makes me want to major in my major, youth development. i believe that the middle and high school years are the hardest because we never ever know exactly what we want. how can we possibly know? how are we suppose to choose what we want to do with our lives at eighteen? we're so young. and in these years we want our parents to just leave us alone, but then god forbid when things get tough they are the first people we come running to. i've learned to keep my parents in the loop. always be as honest as you can...let them into your life a little bit and they can understand you better than when you just shut them out completely. they were your age once. and although its not the same. they can experience it all with you. oh it's been a long four years. but it's almost time to move on. there's a story waiting to be written. another chapter in the novels of our lives.