i wanna rock out with my cock out...
its only 10:00..and im so tired and blehh.i wrote this big entry yesterday, but ofcourse my computer had to get all suicidal on me and start spazzing out, so i lost it which pissed me offf beyond belief, but its all good. if i lose this one il flip..but then again, if your, whoever you are, is reading this, i probably didnt.hm...let me think. yesterday was an okay day..not that great of an ending but we cant always pick and choose on our good days now can we. a great funny point was me screaming out "we had a big massive orgy" in lunch, and this old lady was right behind me who started telling us to clean up.only me..only me. ofcourse dani mel cami christa brooke and brent were all pissing themselves, yet i was too..it was funny, but i guess you had to be there. ehm..dani decided to torture me yet again yesterday, whispering obsanities in my ear that got me all hot and bothered, but then again i always get her back. in which today i got her back with the "poke" game lol haha i won biiiitch.
i found out last night that justine is moving to like Nevada or some bullshit..and yea well she doesnt give a fuck what i think, yet she never did to begin with. she thinks that wel stay in touch, ya know...be "best friends for life"..meanwhile, i live a state away and barely talk to her now.john might move to texas with his cousin to get a job or something, because hes retarted and dropped out of college because its "hard". ah whatever. dana is going to flip when she finds out though. i mean they have been going out for over a year and a half, and if he suddently moves..no more relationship i guess. whatever i guess its not my problem, but shes still one of my best friends and shes guna be crushed.i guess i did a stupid thing last night, but im not sure if it was stupid or not i havent really figured it out. i didnt cut for like two months, and yeah well that didnt really last. i dont even know why i did it..i mean i was really really depressed, and i couldnt shake out of it. i dont know why, but sometimes something sparks it, and i dont even know what sometimes.i like it though, and it makes me feel abnormal to like the feeling. the numbness numbs my pain, the burning burns away my thoughts. its quite a peachy process if you ask me, but then again what the hell do i know. well atleast it is until the pain stops and your left there with nothing but a scar that draws back memories of why you did it in the first place..it kind of sucks but it gets rid of emotions for a while.
anymahooglie..today wasnt that bad at all.school was as boring as it always is, but i see my friends so who cares.i love the song that were singing in chorus. its really cool..something about fading into grey..its uber cool.debbie has been really upset and depressed lately, and i dont even bother asking why because i know its about her dad, which is such a fucked up situation. her dads an alchoholic and is in and out the hospitols because he has seizures when hes sober. she told me that he said hes going to hang himself, so i would be upset too. i hope she doesnt go back to the institute though, il miss her lots.
nicole says that she misses talking to me and stuff, which is cool because i love her to death.we get along so well its freaky, but its awesome.
jen has pink eye which is grose so i hope i wont be seeing her for a while.
after school i came home, then went back to school with lis to try out for the talent show. i know it sounds gey, but hey, its pretty cool to get up and sing in front of lots of people. i was relly nervous though it was weird. i sang stupid cupid lol with the music on cd, which was really cute. then i sang my immortal with my friend cristina. i love that song.well yeah we got in but i duno what im singing yet.
i went to the library after that like a doof..because i have no life so i hang out at the library and go on their computers, which arent suicidal and work 10000000 times better than mine.
nicole siatica decides to IM me and tell me that she slit her wrists and her stomatch blah blah blah..which im sorry is complete fucking BULLSHIT because shes miss happy go lucky and follows everyones footsteps such as justine. its pethetic how justine cuts for attention, and advertises it.. and now we got miss nicole who cut because she was "bored". bored...how can u fucking cut when your bored. its an emotion and its definetly not something to fuck around with me about because i get very sensitive about that shit. she claims she sad because shes moving out of brooklyn, away from the assholes i call my best friends, to jersey where she knows noone. wow where have i heard this one before? oh yea me like 4 months ago. whatever she can fuck off because she disrespected me when she talks about something thats my emotion, my feeling..like its some cool new game. grr
anyway..midterms next week..blehhhhhhh
i wonder if im going to do well.
im not going to bore you with lyrics, soo im just guna bounce nicca hehe
i found out last night that justine is moving to like Nevada or some bullshit..and yea well she doesnt give a fuck what i think, yet she never did to begin with. she thinks that wel stay in touch, ya know...be "best friends for life"..meanwhile, i live a state away and barely talk to her now.john might move to texas with his cousin to get a job or something, because hes retarted and dropped out of college because its "hard". ah whatever. dana is going to flip when she finds out though. i mean they have been going out for over a year and a half, and if he suddently moves..no more relationship i guess. whatever i guess its not my problem, but shes still one of my best friends and shes guna be crushed.i guess i did a stupid thing last night, but im not sure if it was stupid or not i havent really figured it out. i didnt cut for like two months, and yeah well that didnt really last. i dont even know why i did it..i mean i was really really depressed, and i couldnt shake out of it. i dont know why, but sometimes something sparks it, and i dont even know what sometimes.i like it though, and it makes me feel abnormal to like the feeling. the numbness numbs my pain, the burning burns away my thoughts. its quite a peachy process if you ask me, but then again what the hell do i know. well atleast it is until the pain stops and your left there with nothing but a scar that draws back memories of why you did it in the first place..it kind of sucks but it gets rid of emotions for a while.
anymahooglie..today wasnt that bad at all.school was as boring as it always is, but i see my friends so who cares.i love the song that were singing in chorus. its really cool..something about fading into grey..its uber cool.debbie has been really upset and depressed lately, and i dont even bother asking why because i know its about her dad, which is such a fucked up situation. her dads an alchoholic and is in and out the hospitols because he has seizures when hes sober. she told me that he said hes going to hang himself, so i would be upset too. i hope she doesnt go back to the institute though, il miss her lots.
nicole says that she misses talking to me and stuff, which is cool because i love her to death.we get along so well its freaky, but its awesome.
jen has pink eye which is grose so i hope i wont be seeing her for a while.
after school i came home, then went back to school with lis to try out for the talent show. i know it sounds gey, but hey, its pretty cool to get up and sing in front of lots of people. i was relly nervous though it was weird. i sang stupid cupid lol with the music on cd, which was really cute. then i sang my immortal with my friend cristina. i love that song.well yeah we got in but i duno what im singing yet.
i went to the library after that like a doof..because i have no life so i hang out at the library and go on their computers, which arent suicidal and work 10000000 times better than mine.
nicole siatica decides to IM me and tell me that she slit her wrists and her stomatch blah blah blah..which im sorry is complete fucking BULLSHIT because shes miss happy go lucky and follows everyones footsteps such as justine. its pethetic how justine cuts for attention, and advertises it.. and now we got miss nicole who cut because she was "bored". bored...how can u fucking cut when your bored. its an emotion and its definetly not something to fuck around with me about because i get very sensitive about that shit. she claims she sad because shes moving out of brooklyn, away from the assholes i call my best friends, to jersey where she knows noone. wow where have i heard this one before? oh yea me like 4 months ago. whatever she can fuck off because she disrespected me when she talks about something thats my emotion, my feeling..like its some cool new game. grr
anyway..midterms next week..blehhhhhhh
i wonder if im going to do well.
im not going to bore you with lyrics, soo im just guna bounce nicca hehe