merry christmas everyone
i'm home early from chicago. flights on christmas day were jam packed, so my dad, mark, and i came home tonight. my mom wanted to stay an extra day with my grandparents so she's coming back tomorrow night. the trip wasn't actually that bad. other than seeing my slowly mentally deteriorating grandma possibly for the last time. but..anyway. happy thoughts. my dad got us tickets to the blackhawks game in the suite. so my whole family got together at our favorite pizza place, dino's before the game. then my dad, mark, grandpa, uncle, uncle's fiance's son, and aunt janet went to the game. my aunt is the coolest person in the whole world. she's my hero. she's 50 years old and she's the biggest rock star groupie i've ever met. she gets backstage to meet every single famous celebrity there is. she snuck into steven tyler of aerosmith's hotel and he signed her arm saying "i love you." she also met lenny kravitz and a bunch of other people. aaanyway. so her and i had the best time at the game.
now i know where i get my boy craziness from. first thing we do when we get there is flip through the program and rate each player's attractiveness. then in between periods, her and i walked around scoping out attractive rich men. she is so funny. move over demi moore, my aunt's last guy was ten years younger than her. she rocks my world. so we're walking around and stuff and she keeps saying that all these guys are checking me out. she said "oh my gosh can they make it any more obvious?" and i was like...hmmmm she must be noticing stuff that i'm not. i'm not used to guys checking me out. i'm used to living in texas when guys only look at me to say what is a funny looking asian girl like that doing with such hot friends? anyway. chicago people are more used to people from different backgrounds i guess. but it was fun. we were the hottest pair of blackhawks fans there. AND NEED I MENTION THAT THE HAWKS WON? hell yes. they beat the blue 3-0!!!!! i must have brought them good luck ;) anyway. got to spend time with the family. (i'll post pics later)...
and everything was going good until right before we left. i was sitting with my grandma, and she was talking about the weather. which was good for her because most of the time when she talks she makes no sense at all. anyway. so she says "sometimes it's nice outside and sometimes it's not..what are you gonna do" and i was just kinda nodding not paying attention because i figured she was just rambling about nothing. and then i hear her say "it doesn't matter. i'm not going to live anyway." and i look at her and she's staring off into space. that was when it hit me that that is probably the last time i'm ever going to see her. not a happy thought. and then we're leaving to go to the airport and she's mumbling stuff again and my grandpa tells us that she's talking to her sister agnes who died about 4 years ago. it was really scary. i was watching her, and it's like..she knows that something is going to happen to her. maybe she really was talking to agnes. she's the last sibling in her family still alive. i just...want her to be at peace.
she's still holding on for something. i don't know. maybe it's my mom. even though she doesn't know my mom's name or even recognize her half the time, she senses that bond still. i can see it when she looks at my mom trying to figure out how she is related to her. i want to live a long life, but i want to die before i lose my memory. my only wish was that my grandma have a good christmas, and for my mom's last memory of my grandma not to be so sad. and she was really cheery today. it's just hard because we're here and they're up there. i want my mom to be with her mother when she passes away. not like it's my decision anyway. i just wish that God wouldn't prolong her suffering, or my grandpa's or mom's. anyway. merry christmas everyone.
now i know where i get my boy craziness from. first thing we do when we get there is flip through the program and rate each player's attractiveness. then in between periods, her and i walked around scoping out attractive rich men. she is so funny. move over demi moore, my aunt's last guy was ten years younger than her. she rocks my world. so we're walking around and stuff and she keeps saying that all these guys are checking me out. she said "oh my gosh can they make it any more obvious?" and i was like...hmmmm she must be noticing stuff that i'm not. i'm not used to guys checking me out. i'm used to living in texas when guys only look at me to say what is a funny looking asian girl like that doing with such hot friends? anyway. chicago people are more used to people from different backgrounds i guess. but it was fun. we were the hottest pair of blackhawks fans there. AND NEED I MENTION THAT THE HAWKS WON? hell yes. they beat the blue 3-0!!!!! i must have brought them good luck ;) anyway. got to spend time with the family. (i'll post pics later)...
and everything was going good until right before we left. i was sitting with my grandma, and she was talking about the weather. which was good for her because most of the time when she talks she makes no sense at all. anyway. so she says "sometimes it's nice outside and sometimes it's not..what are you gonna do" and i was just kinda nodding not paying attention because i figured she was just rambling about nothing. and then i hear her say "it doesn't matter. i'm not going to live anyway." and i look at her and she's staring off into space. that was when it hit me that that is probably the last time i'm ever going to see her. not a happy thought. and then we're leaving to go to the airport and she's mumbling stuff again and my grandpa tells us that she's talking to her sister agnes who died about 4 years ago. it was really scary. i was watching her, and it's like..she knows that something is going to happen to her. maybe she really was talking to agnes. she's the last sibling in her family still alive. i just...want her to be at peace.
she's still holding on for something. i don't know. maybe it's my mom. even though she doesn't know my mom's name or even recognize her half the time, she senses that bond still. i can see it when she looks at my mom trying to figure out how she is related to her. i want to live a long life, but i want to die before i lose my memory. my only wish was that my grandma have a good christmas, and for my mom's last memory of my grandma not to be so sad. and she was really cheery today. it's just hard because we're here and they're up there. i want my mom to be with her mother when she passes away. not like it's my decision anyway. i just wish that God wouldn't prolong her suffering, or my grandpa's or mom's. anyway. merry christmas everyone.