Jared Leto and Andre Marek ~ Just wondering what’s gonna happen to me?
[Crossposted to jaredl_bq and bqv_andre]
It was close to morning but Jared didn’t want to go back to his room and definitely didn’t want his brother or Oded to see him in the funk he was in. He’d spoken to Ian earlier in the night but the human made him uncomfortable and Jared didn’t want to hang around the Mile in case his hunger got the better of him around all the warm bodies. Before he even realized where he was going Jared was at Andre’s door.
It had been a quiet night, as most seemed to be now and Andre was staring out the garden doors, watching the moon dance along the lush dark green of the lawn. He’d had a customer or two, but not much more. The kind of items he carried did not bring hoards of shoppers. The presence pricked at the edges of his consciousness and Andre blinked, Jared was nearing - something he’d not expected. Come in chi... Jared, my home is always open to you.
Pushing the door open Jared walked in as if he had all the confidence in the world, but that faded fast as soon as Andre looked at him. “Hey,” he said and picked up a random object to examine.
Turning from the window, Andre studied the young man, noting what appeared to be indifference and nonchalance. “It’s been a while - care for some coffee?” He was experimenting with a new blend and wasn’t sure if he liked it yet.
Jared just shook his head and wandered past Andre further inside. “I’ve been wandering,” he said as if it was a throw away statement. “Can a vampire survive on were blood? And nothing else?”
Exhaling softly, Andre shook his head, “I do not believe we can... there is something in it - we become addicted and... eventually will crave it to our own destruction.” Following he watched the young vampire, the attempt at nonchalance, “We can dilute it, but... even then it would have to be more human than were. Why?”
Jared shrugged. “Just asking.” He tried to leave it at that but Andre’s answer confirmed his fears. “Just wondering what’s gonna happen to me?”
“How do you mean?” Closing the distance, Andre, while not touching, made sure Jared knew he was close behind.
“I don’t do humans remember,” Jared said bitterly and glared at Andre. “So I’ll get addicted if I’m not already and that’ll be it.”
“Then we will find you other sources of human blood without having to go to a human.” The young could be exasperating at times, but Andre also understood his fear. “Jared... have you ever thought your attraction to were blood was because you yearn to be one?”
“Because I am one,” Jared countered and felt his chest tighten with frustration, but while he spoke his fingers reached out to Andre.
Enfolding the smaller hand in his own large one, Andre stepped toward Jared, offering comfort without crowding. “In your heart and mind you are - but your body never caught on Jared. You have the spirit and soul, the drive and attitude of one, but that isn’t enough... at least not for pack.”
Jared looked at their hands and said, “The sun would have been faster wouldn’t it Andre?”
“Yes, it would. But look what you’d have left behind?” Inhaling, he smelled the permanent scent of Shannon but someone else as well. “You’re making friends... a small blond vampire perhaps? Your brother of course and Oded as well. Then there’s someone else... someone I’ve not met.” Leaning forward, Andre wrapped his other arm around Jared’s shoulders, “I may not have known you when you walked into the sun that day Jared, but I’ve come to care for you as if you were one of my own.”
“I’ve met many here,” Jared said vaguely not wanting to talk to Andre about his hook ups. Instead he leaned into Andre seeking his comfort. “Sometimes it’s hard not knowing where I belong and even feeding is a total fuck up for me.”
Engulfing the younger vamp into his embrace, Andre rubbed at Jared’s back. “You had no one to really teach you... and there are... clubs I guess you could call them, where the humans expect what we do.” He’d never been after the first time, having found them distasteful. The sight of multiple vampires feeding off one human in what should have been a private, intimate act didn’t sit well. “Explain how it is you are with a human for feeding Jared... we can work on that if you want.”
“I want it so bad,” Jared whispered thinking back to Kevin. “I smell them all the time and if I touch them...” Jared cringed. “There was one I hooked up with but I knew I would kill him if we kept going.”
“Then we need to work on your control.” It sounded so simple, a few short words and poof, the problem was solved, but Andre knew the truth. Control was one of the absolute hardest thing a vampire had to work at, and though never fully mastered, it could be done. And then done every day for the rest of their existence.
“Fuck” Jared grumbled knowing control was the one thing he hated most.
It was close to morning but Jared didn’t want to go back to his room and definitely didn’t want his brother or Oded to see him in the funk he was in. He’d spoken to Ian earlier in the night but the human made him uncomfortable and Jared didn’t want to hang around the Mile in case his hunger got the better of him around all the warm bodies. Before he even realized where he was going Jared was at Andre’s door.
It had been a quiet night, as most seemed to be now and Andre was staring out the garden doors, watching the moon dance along the lush dark green of the lawn. He’d had a customer or two, but not much more. The kind of items he carried did not bring hoards of shoppers. The presence pricked at the edges of his consciousness and Andre blinked, Jared was nearing - something he’d not expected. Come in chi... Jared, my home is always open to you.
Pushing the door open Jared walked in as if he had all the confidence in the world, but that faded fast as soon as Andre looked at him. “Hey,” he said and picked up a random object to examine.
Turning from the window, Andre studied the young man, noting what appeared to be indifference and nonchalance. “It’s been a while - care for some coffee?” He was experimenting with a new blend and wasn’t sure if he liked it yet.
Jared just shook his head and wandered past Andre further inside. “I’ve been wandering,” he said as if it was a throw away statement. “Can a vampire survive on were blood? And nothing else?”
Exhaling softly, Andre shook his head, “I do not believe we can... there is something in it - we become addicted and... eventually will crave it to our own destruction.” Following he watched the young vampire, the attempt at nonchalance, “We can dilute it, but... even then it would have to be more human than were. Why?”
Jared shrugged. “Just asking.” He tried to leave it at that but Andre’s answer confirmed his fears. “Just wondering what’s gonna happen to me?”
“How do you mean?” Closing the distance, Andre, while not touching, made sure Jared knew he was close behind.
“I don’t do humans remember,” Jared said bitterly and glared at Andre. “So I’ll get addicted if I’m not already and that’ll be it.”
“Then we will find you other sources of human blood without having to go to a human.” The young could be exasperating at times, but Andre also understood his fear. “Jared... have you ever thought your attraction to were blood was because you yearn to be one?”
“Because I am one,” Jared countered and felt his chest tighten with frustration, but while he spoke his fingers reached out to Andre.
Enfolding the smaller hand in his own large one, Andre stepped toward Jared, offering comfort without crowding. “In your heart and mind you are - but your body never caught on Jared. You have the spirit and soul, the drive and attitude of one, but that isn’t enough... at least not for pack.”
Jared looked at their hands and said, “The sun would have been faster wouldn’t it Andre?”
“Yes, it would. But look what you’d have left behind?” Inhaling, he smelled the permanent scent of Shannon but someone else as well. “You’re making friends... a small blond vampire perhaps? Your brother of course and Oded as well. Then there’s someone else... someone I’ve not met.” Leaning forward, Andre wrapped his other arm around Jared’s shoulders, “I may not have known you when you walked into the sun that day Jared, but I’ve come to care for you as if you were one of my own.”
“I’ve met many here,” Jared said vaguely not wanting to talk to Andre about his hook ups. Instead he leaned into Andre seeking his comfort. “Sometimes it’s hard not knowing where I belong and even feeding is a total fuck up for me.”
Engulfing the younger vamp into his embrace, Andre rubbed at Jared’s back. “You had no one to really teach you... and there are... clubs I guess you could call them, where the humans expect what we do.” He’d never been after the first time, having found them distasteful. The sight of multiple vampires feeding off one human in what should have been a private, intimate act didn’t sit well. “Explain how it is you are with a human for feeding Jared... we can work on that if you want.”
“I want it so bad,” Jared whispered thinking back to Kevin. “I smell them all the time and if I touch them...” Jared cringed. “There was one I hooked up with but I knew I would kill him if we kept going.”
“Then we need to work on your control.” It sounded so simple, a few short words and poof, the problem was solved, but Andre knew the truth. Control was one of the absolute hardest thing a vampire had to work at, and though never fully mastered, it could be done. And then done every day for the rest of their existence.
“Fuck” Jared grumbled knowing control was the one thing he hated most.