too quite
Tonight is my first night home alone in a long time. Without Sully here, the house is empty. Quiet. Very lonely. The whole reason I got him in the first place was because, at the time, Steve was working his handful of jobs at all the most random hours and I wanted someone to be home with. Someone to be my friend & family. Sully filled that job perfectly.
Sul and I used to have conversations. Right now, we'd be discussing High School Musical 2. We'd go for strolls around the neighborhood. He used to LOVE puddles. He'd come into the house and his ears would be all wet and he'd let me wipe them. Later, he'd drag that towel off the counter for no reason at all. While I read or watched whatever the DVR recorded, he'd pull out socks from the clean laundry basket. Eventually, he'd give up and lay in his window, waiting for Steve or Phil to come home. Around this time, I'd get sleepy and make my way upstairs. I trusted him in the window so late, knowing he didn't want trouble. He was just looking out for me and patiently waiting for his boys to arrive. As soon as I'd drift into a dream, I'd feel a thump into bed, get a nice wet nose kiss on my cheek, then he'd plop down with a "finally" groan as he placed his head on Steve's pillow. Literally. I toss the blanket over his torso and together we'd fall asleep. Eventually, one of the boys would come home. He'd gruff and reluctantly hop off the bed to check it out. Once he saw who it was, he'd hop right back up onto the bed and reclaim his spot.
I really do miss him. I thought this would be enough time to "go back to normal." But that's just it. Life with Sully WAS normal. And now it's not. And now I'm here alone. Missing. Thinking. Remembering. Crying again. I don't see it getting better, ehem, normal again. Steve's schedule (and no, this isn't a blame or guilt trip. Just fact) is inevitably going to get busier and involve many more nights away from home. And even though home may change, this empty feeling won't.
I still read proped up against the armrest of the couch. But my feet are cold cuz no one is resting is soft ears on them. I have no one to read the funny or interesting or quoteable parts to. I still watch the TiVo-ed shows. Except now there's no one to giggle with or clean up my crumbs in the kitchen after Iron Chef gives me the munchies. I don't go on walks anymore. I tried. When the other dogs in the neighborhood don't bark at me, I remember why and see their confused looks of "Why is she walking alone?"
And they're right. Why am I walking alone? Why did my bud have to go?
Sul and I used to have conversations. Right now, we'd be discussing High School Musical 2. We'd go for strolls around the neighborhood. He used to LOVE puddles. He'd come into the house and his ears would be all wet and he'd let me wipe them. Later, he'd drag that towel off the counter for no reason at all. While I read or watched whatever the DVR recorded, he'd pull out socks from the clean laundry basket. Eventually, he'd give up and lay in his window, waiting for Steve or Phil to come home. Around this time, I'd get sleepy and make my way upstairs. I trusted him in the window so late, knowing he didn't want trouble. He was just looking out for me and patiently waiting for his boys to arrive. As soon as I'd drift into a dream, I'd feel a thump into bed, get a nice wet nose kiss on my cheek, then he'd plop down with a "finally" groan as he placed his head on Steve's pillow. Literally. I toss the blanket over his torso and together we'd fall asleep. Eventually, one of the boys would come home. He'd gruff and reluctantly hop off the bed to check it out. Once he saw who it was, he'd hop right back up onto the bed and reclaim his spot.
I really do miss him. I thought this would be enough time to "go back to normal." But that's just it. Life with Sully WAS normal. And now it's not. And now I'm here alone. Missing. Thinking. Remembering. Crying again. I don't see it getting better, ehem, normal again. Steve's schedule (and no, this isn't a blame or guilt trip. Just fact) is inevitably going to get busier and involve many more nights away from home. And even though home may change, this empty feeling won't.
I still read proped up against the armrest of the couch. But my feet are cold cuz no one is resting is soft ears on them. I have no one to read the funny or interesting or quoteable parts to. I still watch the TiVo-ed shows. Except now there's no one to giggle with or clean up my crumbs in the kitchen after Iron Chef gives me the munchies. I don't go on walks anymore. I tried. When the other dogs in the neighborhood don't bark at me, I remember why and see their confused looks of "Why is she walking alone?"
And they're right. Why am I walking alone? Why did my bud have to go?