feeling like a mean mommy
4:30am 4 years ago today, my water broke.today is my daughter's 4th birthday, 4 years ago today i was in a bed at st. vincent's excited that i would finally be able to see the baby girl i had carried for 9 months. 3 days before her due date. happy, and surprisingly not scared at all. she arrived at 3:12 pm (the same exact time her baby brother would arrive 21 months later.) i can't describe how i felt when they placed her on me (or how freaky it was when they offered me a mirror to watch her come into the world, i declined.) she chose her birthday party theme (strawberry shortcake) in january when i went to party city for one of their 50% off sales, and hasn't forgotten about it. so i had to make the decision not to tell her that today is her birthday, i think she would be crushed that she's not having a party today.so while i am saving her heartache, i feel very badly about it. she still doesn't have a time concept down, and won't inderstand that her party is sunday. so to ease my bad-mommy feeling we are taking her to chuck e. cheese today.ahhh. what pisses me off, is that i haven't had many rsvp's for her party:( bastards had better be there to make my baby girl feel special.