insult to injury...
ok... so i'm drunk. i had more than i should have tonight. but what the hell... i'm only damn human and sometimes i need some major decompression. i got that tonight. two or three grateful deads later, a red beer, a few shots and some sips of someone else's something or other... yah... i am drunk. drunk as fuck. and it is soooo good to feel it. :)
i feel guilty for things that i probably shouldn't feel guilty for. i have no obligation to no one. don't get me wrong... i did not hook up with anyone or anything... i just did and said some things that i did not mean just to get a reaction... boys can be so easy sometimes. it's not in my nature to "play" anyone per say... but when it happens... it happens... so thanks to the dude that bought me and my friends drinks... whoever you are.. yah i'm sure you want to get to know me and you want to take me out... yah... sure... i usually don't let dudes buy me shit b/c i can get my own but this one was persistent... so he bought a few rounds and i let him. usually i say no thanks... but tonight... i gave a fuck. if a guy thinks he can get with me just by buying a round he's out of his mind. i'm not a bitch... i'm not a jerk that uses dudes... so this was unusual... but he was pullin' the bullshit out of his ass left and right. i knew and he knew i did. so why not let him act an ass, spend his money and not get shit but a high five and a thanks in return... drunken idiocies are indeed acceptable under most pretenses... but tonight... i was intolerant of it all. I GIVES A FUCK!!!
i realize that this entry is rather long already... but i feel the need to ramble on a bit more...
what am i so afraid of? i'm scared of my damn shadow anymore. i'm not one to admit weakness. i'm everybody's strength. but not right now. not at this moment. i don't want to be anybody's anything but i want to be everyone's everything. i'm not superwoman... who would want to be that bitch anyways? besides... i have nothing to give anyone that they can't give or find themselves. if i were to seclude myself and cut myself off from the rest of the world... it would still keep turning. i'm the everything of nothingness...
can i dance now?
p.s.
not bad for a drunk post eh?
i feel guilty for things that i probably shouldn't feel guilty for. i have no obligation to no one. don't get me wrong... i did not hook up with anyone or anything... i just did and said some things that i did not mean just to get a reaction... boys can be so easy sometimes. it's not in my nature to "play" anyone per say... but when it happens... it happens... so thanks to the dude that bought me and my friends drinks... whoever you are.. yah i'm sure you want to get to know me and you want to take me out... yah... sure... i usually don't let dudes buy me shit b/c i can get my own but this one was persistent... so he bought a few rounds and i let him. usually i say no thanks... but tonight... i gave a fuck. if a guy thinks he can get with me just by buying a round he's out of his mind. i'm not a bitch... i'm not a jerk that uses dudes... so this was unusual... but he was pullin' the bullshit out of his ass left and right. i knew and he knew i did. so why not let him act an ass, spend his money and not get shit but a high five and a thanks in return... drunken idiocies are indeed acceptable under most pretenses... but tonight... i was intolerant of it all. I GIVES A FUCK!!!
i realize that this entry is rather long already... but i feel the need to ramble on a bit more...
what am i so afraid of? i'm scared of my damn shadow anymore. i'm not one to admit weakness. i'm everybody's strength. but not right now. not at this moment. i don't want to be anybody's anything but i want to be everyone's everything. i'm not superwoman... who would want to be that bitch anyways? besides... i have nothing to give anyone that they can't give or find themselves. if i were to seclude myself and cut myself off from the rest of the world... it would still keep turning. i'm the everything of nothingness...
can i dance now?
p.s.
not bad for a drunk post eh?