Commentfic
Stuff I've written lately. Would've been up sooner, but my laptop crashed so now I'm using some old piece of crap and you don't really care so let's move on with it.
Title: Talking Without Speaking
Author: bozothemoose
Fandom: STXI
Pairing: Kirk/Bones
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1045
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or it's characters. Never will either.
Summary: For the lurker prompt at jim_and_bones. Angst ahoy.
Jim ended up staring at the grave for a full five minutes, unable to say a word. Finally, he pulled a toy figurine from his pocket and turned it over several times in his fingers before placing it carefully before the tombstone. Then he turned on his heel and walked away.
He kept his head down as he left the cemetery and stuffed his hands in his pockets. It had been stupid to come, stupid to expect to get anything out of seeing a slab of rock with a name carved into it.
Bones was, of course, right where Jim had left him. He stood in front of an abandoned warehouse, staring out at the flat Iowan landscape. His face bore the same haunted look Jim had seen too many times since their return to Earth. As he approached, Bones snapped out of his reverie, turning his thoughtful gaze on Jim. To his credit, he didn’t ask any questions other than: “You ready?”
At Jim’s curt nod, he tossed him the keys and climbed into the passenger seat. Jim got in wordlessly and felt a brief sense of relief as the engine purred to life. The open road felt good beneath him. When they got to the farmhouse, Jim kept going. Bones didn’t say anything, but raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t see any reason to stop,” Jim grunted in response to the unasked question. “Figured we’d just drive on through and stop in a motel tonight.”
Bones nodded, and though he remained wordless, a hand curled at the back of Jim’s neck.
For the second time that day, he had to swallow a lump in his throat.
**
They remained silent through dinner, Bones not even bitching about the greasy diner Jim had picked out. Not for the first time, Jim felt slightly sick. Their oddly mute road trip from San Francisco had been bad enough. But Bones relied on words to express his ever-present disgust at the general condition of life, and to see him swallowing down a goddamned cheeseburger without protest-
Jim snapped. “Well I’m done,” he said, pushing away his half-empty plate. “Wanna head in?”
Bones watched him for a moment before he nodded slowly, wiped his mouth, and followed Jim outside.
Once they entered their room, it was back to silence. Jim shrugged off his shirt and followed Bones into the bathroom. He watched the other man splash water on his face a few times before easing in to sit on the counter. Bones stared at him expectantly as he dried his hands on a towel.
“So,” Jim cleared his throat. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask me how it went.”
Bones remained contemplative, seeming to quietly assess his mood before finally speaking. “Figured you wouldn’t appreciate it.”
Jim let out a shaky laugh, torn between uneasiness at the statement and relief at hearing his voice. “Come on, Bones. You’re the one who always wants to talk every issue to death, whether I want to or not. How is this any different?”
Bones took a step closer and put a hand on Jim’s thigh. “You forget that I’ve been here before, Jim,” he said softly. “And I didn’t feel like saying much of anything after I saw my dad’s grave alone for the first time.”
Jim attempted to shrug him off. “It’s no big deal. It’s just an empty grave.”
“Yeah? That why the Enterprise mysteriously vanished off the dash?”
Jim froze. Bones took another step closer to Jim, leaning in. “Jim,” he murmured. “Tell me to drop it and I will. We’re going to talk about it eventually, but you don’t have to do it tonight. We can just go to bed if you want.”
And Jim almost brushed him off again. But he made the mistake of looking up. The moment he saw the soft hazel eyes staring at him, he came undone.
Without warning, his face crumpled. Every emotion he had been suppressing since the Narada, every fear, every guilt, every death, came rushing to the surface. He reached blindly to wind an arm around Bones’ neck, pulling him in to rest their foreheads together, needing to feel him. Bones, for his part, made no attempt to quiet his sobs, merely wrapping an arm around Jim’s waist and rubbing his warm hand soothingly along his leg.
How much time passed, Jim did not know. But eventually his breath calmed and Bones pulled him toward the bed, carefully undressing him before pulling Jim into his warmth.
Bones uttered the command for the lights, and when the room plunged into darkness, Jim finally found the courage to speak.
“I just… stared at it, Bones,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just stared at his tombstone and couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I thought- thought about how there was no body. And I thought of all the new empty graves, all the caskets that had to be filled with pictures because they had been blasted to bits along with Vulcan-”
He felt Bones’ thumb stroke along his neck. It gave him the strength to continue. “And I thought about how the other Kirk’s father lived to see him make Captain, how proud he was, but how can anyone feel proud after all of this?”
His voice cracked on the last word, and Bones’ lips brushed his temple. “Jim,” he rumbled. “Nothing could have saved Vulcan. And even if you had put two and two together sooner, do you really think you could have prevented the Admiralty from responding to that distress signal? You did the best you could do with the cards you were dealt. And your best happened to save Earth. So yeah,” he finished. “I reckon that’s how you can be proud.”
Jim felt a rush of gratitude toward the man wrapped around him, one Jim know he would never be able to put into words. Instead, he pressed a kiss to his neck and latched onto his side. They lay unspeaking for several minutes, and for the first time, it wasn’t torture.
“Hey, Bones?” he whispered.
“Yeah?” he replied sleepily.
Jim hesitated, but only for a moment. “Can we go back to the cemetery tomorrow?”
He could hear Bones swallow hard.
“Yeah, we can, Jim.”
Title: Five Missing Romantic Cliches (And Five Jim Just Missed)
Author: bozothemoose
Fandom: STXI
Pairing: Kirk/Bones
Rating: PG
Word Count: 704
Disclaimer: Again. Don't own it.
Summary: Commentfic for jim_and_bones Jim is oblivious. Bones is slightly less so.
.
Jim is not the only one who can make Bones smile. While it’s true that the doctor can have the temperament of a wild grizzly, he is not above a satisfied chuckle, or, if the occasion calls for it, a full blown laugh. If this were some great romance, Jim would be the only one to be able to coax this miracle of nature out of him. Instead, he watches as Bones grins like a dork as Uhura snaps her usual dismissal to Jim, and fails to stop the smile from spreading across his own face at the sight of it.
(Bones is nothing if not a man of science. He quickly comes to the conclusion that when he smiles, Jim smiles. A real one, not that cocky shit he throws out to everyone else. So he lights up like a Christmas tree as often as he thinks he can get away with, just to get a glimpse of the gap between Jim’s bottom teeth.)
..
Jim’s escapades do not leave Bones a lonely man. In fact, half the nights it’s Bones ditching Jim for a piece of tail and not the other way around. The men and women Bones go for don’t look a thing like Jim - one night it’ll be a mere slip of a girl, the next it’ll be a man the size of a truck. It always ends the same, though: a clap on the shoulder, a smirk at Jim, and he’s off, leaving Jim hard and miserable on the other side of the city from his dorm.
(Bones is not a monk. Nor is he stupid enough to only go for cocky young flyboys in the bars he frequents with Jim. But at the end of the night, it’s Jim’s face he sees when he closes his eyes.)
...
Jim does not win Joanna over the moment she meets him. Instead, she flings herself at her father the moment they get back from the Narada, and stares suspiciously at Jim as Bones introduces him. Jim does not join the pair for dinner, partly because he wants them to have some time alone and partly because he heard Joanna tearfully tell Bones she didn’t want him there.
(Bones knows Jo’s a shy girl, but she warms up to Jim pretty fast. Two weeks after meeting him, she draws him a picture and he immediately runs out to buy a frame for it. Jo starts giggling as soon as he’s out the door and curls up next to Bones on the couch. She kisses him on the cheek and says “Jim’s a good one, Daddy.”
....
Jim has not been able to cure Bones of his fear of shuttles, of transporters, or even space itself. In fact, he has no idea what the man is even doing on the Enterprise, not when going into warp makes him slightly sick and he’ll have to deal with transporter incidents and space diseases and god knows what else. Sometimes Jim thinks Bones would be better off just staying at Starfleet Medical.
(Bones lets Jim ask him two times if he’s sure about becoming his CMO. On the third, he tells him that he needs to get it through his thick skull that he’s sticking with his Captain, no matter what. Bones made a promise to follow Jim wherever he goes, and if that means to the edge of the universe, well, Bones can deal with a bit of space sickness.)
.....
Jim has become an expert over the years at not letting his feelings show. This is no different. He can take this secret to the grave just like any other. He’s not going to crack during some over-emotional mission and throw himself at Bones, nor is he ever going to let it slip out during some quiet moment between the two of them. He knows he loves Bones. Bones just doesn’t love him. But his friendship is enough.
(Bones wants to scream sometimes because Jim is the most self-sacrificing, noble, angsty bastard he has ever met. But when his clue-by-four gets to come in the form of a kiss in his quarters one evening, well, neither one of them is really complaining.)
And now, bed.
Title: Talking Without Speaking
Author: bozothemoose
Fandom: STXI
Pairing: Kirk/Bones
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1045
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or it's characters. Never will either.
Summary: For the lurker prompt at jim_and_bones. Angst ahoy.
Jim ended up staring at the grave for a full five minutes, unable to say a word. Finally, he pulled a toy figurine from his pocket and turned it over several times in his fingers before placing it carefully before the tombstone. Then he turned on his heel and walked away.
He kept his head down as he left the cemetery and stuffed his hands in his pockets. It had been stupid to come, stupid to expect to get anything out of seeing a slab of rock with a name carved into it.
Bones was, of course, right where Jim had left him. He stood in front of an abandoned warehouse, staring out at the flat Iowan landscape. His face bore the same haunted look Jim had seen too many times since their return to Earth. As he approached, Bones snapped out of his reverie, turning his thoughtful gaze on Jim. To his credit, he didn’t ask any questions other than: “You ready?”
At Jim’s curt nod, he tossed him the keys and climbed into the passenger seat. Jim got in wordlessly and felt a brief sense of relief as the engine purred to life. The open road felt good beneath him. When they got to the farmhouse, Jim kept going. Bones didn’t say anything, but raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t see any reason to stop,” Jim grunted in response to the unasked question. “Figured we’d just drive on through and stop in a motel tonight.”
Bones nodded, and though he remained wordless, a hand curled at the back of Jim’s neck.
For the second time that day, he had to swallow a lump in his throat.
**
They remained silent through dinner, Bones not even bitching about the greasy diner Jim had picked out. Not for the first time, Jim felt slightly sick. Their oddly mute road trip from San Francisco had been bad enough. But Bones relied on words to express his ever-present disgust at the general condition of life, and to see him swallowing down a goddamned cheeseburger without protest-
Jim snapped. “Well I’m done,” he said, pushing away his half-empty plate. “Wanna head in?”
Bones watched him for a moment before he nodded slowly, wiped his mouth, and followed Jim outside.
Once they entered their room, it was back to silence. Jim shrugged off his shirt and followed Bones into the bathroom. He watched the other man splash water on his face a few times before easing in to sit on the counter. Bones stared at him expectantly as he dried his hands on a towel.
“So,” Jim cleared his throat. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask me how it went.”
Bones remained contemplative, seeming to quietly assess his mood before finally speaking. “Figured you wouldn’t appreciate it.”
Jim let out a shaky laugh, torn between uneasiness at the statement and relief at hearing his voice. “Come on, Bones. You’re the one who always wants to talk every issue to death, whether I want to or not. How is this any different?”
Bones took a step closer and put a hand on Jim’s thigh. “You forget that I’ve been here before, Jim,” he said softly. “And I didn’t feel like saying much of anything after I saw my dad’s grave alone for the first time.”
Jim attempted to shrug him off. “It’s no big deal. It’s just an empty grave.”
“Yeah? That why the Enterprise mysteriously vanished off the dash?”
Jim froze. Bones took another step closer to Jim, leaning in. “Jim,” he murmured. “Tell me to drop it and I will. We’re going to talk about it eventually, but you don’t have to do it tonight. We can just go to bed if you want.”
And Jim almost brushed him off again. But he made the mistake of looking up. The moment he saw the soft hazel eyes staring at him, he came undone.
Without warning, his face crumpled. Every emotion he had been suppressing since the Narada, every fear, every guilt, every death, came rushing to the surface. He reached blindly to wind an arm around Bones’ neck, pulling him in to rest their foreheads together, needing to feel him. Bones, for his part, made no attempt to quiet his sobs, merely wrapping an arm around Jim’s waist and rubbing his warm hand soothingly along his leg.
How much time passed, Jim did not know. But eventually his breath calmed and Bones pulled him toward the bed, carefully undressing him before pulling Jim into his warmth.
Bones uttered the command for the lights, and when the room plunged into darkness, Jim finally found the courage to speak.
“I just… stared at it, Bones,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just stared at his tombstone and couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I thought- thought about how there was no body. And I thought of all the new empty graves, all the caskets that had to be filled with pictures because they had been blasted to bits along with Vulcan-”
He felt Bones’ thumb stroke along his neck. It gave him the strength to continue. “And I thought about how the other Kirk’s father lived to see him make Captain, how proud he was, but how can anyone feel proud after all of this?”
His voice cracked on the last word, and Bones’ lips brushed his temple. “Jim,” he rumbled. “Nothing could have saved Vulcan. And even if you had put two and two together sooner, do you really think you could have prevented the Admiralty from responding to that distress signal? You did the best you could do with the cards you were dealt. And your best happened to save Earth. So yeah,” he finished. “I reckon that’s how you can be proud.”
Jim felt a rush of gratitude toward the man wrapped around him, one Jim know he would never be able to put into words. Instead, he pressed a kiss to his neck and latched onto his side. They lay unspeaking for several minutes, and for the first time, it wasn’t torture.
“Hey, Bones?” he whispered.
“Yeah?” he replied sleepily.
Jim hesitated, but only for a moment. “Can we go back to the cemetery tomorrow?”
He could hear Bones swallow hard.
“Yeah, we can, Jim.”
Title: Five Missing Romantic Cliches (And Five Jim Just Missed)
Author: bozothemoose
Fandom: STXI
Pairing: Kirk/Bones
Rating: PG
Word Count: 704
Disclaimer: Again. Don't own it.
Summary: Commentfic for jim_and_bones Jim is oblivious. Bones is slightly less so.
.
Jim is not the only one who can make Bones smile. While it’s true that the doctor can have the temperament of a wild grizzly, he is not above a satisfied chuckle, or, if the occasion calls for it, a full blown laugh. If this were some great romance, Jim would be the only one to be able to coax this miracle of nature out of him. Instead, he watches as Bones grins like a dork as Uhura snaps her usual dismissal to Jim, and fails to stop the smile from spreading across his own face at the sight of it.
(Bones is nothing if not a man of science. He quickly comes to the conclusion that when he smiles, Jim smiles. A real one, not that cocky shit he throws out to everyone else. So he lights up like a Christmas tree as often as he thinks he can get away with, just to get a glimpse of the gap between Jim’s bottom teeth.)
..
Jim’s escapades do not leave Bones a lonely man. In fact, half the nights it’s Bones ditching Jim for a piece of tail and not the other way around. The men and women Bones go for don’t look a thing like Jim - one night it’ll be a mere slip of a girl, the next it’ll be a man the size of a truck. It always ends the same, though: a clap on the shoulder, a smirk at Jim, and he’s off, leaving Jim hard and miserable on the other side of the city from his dorm.
(Bones is not a monk. Nor is he stupid enough to only go for cocky young flyboys in the bars he frequents with Jim. But at the end of the night, it’s Jim’s face he sees when he closes his eyes.)
...
Jim does not win Joanna over the moment she meets him. Instead, she flings herself at her father the moment they get back from the Narada, and stares suspiciously at Jim as Bones introduces him. Jim does not join the pair for dinner, partly because he wants them to have some time alone and partly because he heard Joanna tearfully tell Bones she didn’t want him there.
(Bones knows Jo’s a shy girl, but she warms up to Jim pretty fast. Two weeks after meeting him, she draws him a picture and he immediately runs out to buy a frame for it. Jo starts giggling as soon as he’s out the door and curls up next to Bones on the couch. She kisses him on the cheek and says “Jim’s a good one, Daddy.”
....
Jim has not been able to cure Bones of his fear of shuttles, of transporters, or even space itself. In fact, he has no idea what the man is even doing on the Enterprise, not when going into warp makes him slightly sick and he’ll have to deal with transporter incidents and space diseases and god knows what else. Sometimes Jim thinks Bones would be better off just staying at Starfleet Medical.
(Bones lets Jim ask him two times if he’s sure about becoming his CMO. On the third, he tells him that he needs to get it through his thick skull that he’s sticking with his Captain, no matter what. Bones made a promise to follow Jim wherever he goes, and if that means to the edge of the universe, well, Bones can deal with a bit of space sickness.)
.....
Jim has become an expert over the years at not letting his feelings show. This is no different. He can take this secret to the grave just like any other. He’s not going to crack during some over-emotional mission and throw himself at Bones, nor is he ever going to let it slip out during some quiet moment between the two of them. He knows he loves Bones. Bones just doesn’t love him. But his friendship is enough.
(Bones wants to scream sometimes because Jim is the most self-sacrificing, noble, angsty bastard he has ever met. But when his clue-by-four gets to come in the form of a kiss in his quarters one evening, well, neither one of them is really complaining.)
And now, bed.