forgive me lordly creature, it's been over a year since i last posted
it's a funni place i work at.
there are days when i walk on clouds and there are days when i cry for days on end.
do other people work at places like that? it can't possibly be just me.
it's funni that i've migrated back at this place. maybe it's cos i made a facebook account and had all these people i've spent years running away from suddenly get in touch with me because facebook insists on real names. even my mother found on facebook. mothers and internet? what's that all about. it was like a swarm, all the perfectly nice and well meaning people i've been ignoring in my pathetic fear for the past 15 years suddenly going hey you! how you doing.
i need a breather. a quiet bloo place where tigger looks at me and the only people that have access to me are the ones i chose to have access to me. so that i can whine publicly lol. life's a contradiction so whatever.
back to the workplace. prolly another reason i've migrated to this place. i used to cry at this place when i so desired, but now that there is more people here, well it's hard to cry when one of the objects of your annoyance is looking at you through your glass window.
not to dwell.
my boss said this morning, in response to an email i've had for 2 weeks that i hadn't yet got done, that i don't often get criticism so this is criticism - the email should have had a response from me much earlier and it is too late now. come to think of it, that seems like his catchphrase for today, he used it in relation to a couple of other things too. anyway. of course i'm going to examine a comment like that. does he mean that he doesn't criticise me enough but there is plenty of cause for criticism, so i should listen carefully to this one? and when should i have responded to that particular email? it must be that either i don't work enough or i don't manage my time efficiently. i work approximately 50-60 hours a week, my lunch break consists of a 30 second walk to get a sandwich and then 30 seconds back (and about 50 seconds it takes them to make the sandwich). my time management usually gets interrupted by whatever crisis/deadline arises and requires assistance.
anyway.
i'm over it.
no, really.
whatever.
it must be me i think.
life's become monotonous and i'm bored. i must spend less time crying though because crying is not for tough girls. lol. i almost miss those days when indulging in self hatred was the order of the day and minute by minute survival took precedence over everything else. i wonder if i'll go back to them and it's probably unfortunate that i would not be aghast if i was to go back to them. i didn't hated myself then, but i don't think i like myself any better now.
there are days when i walk on clouds and there are days when i cry for days on end.
do other people work at places like that? it can't possibly be just me.
it's funni that i've migrated back at this place. maybe it's cos i made a facebook account and had all these people i've spent years running away from suddenly get in touch with me because facebook insists on real names. even my mother found on facebook. mothers and internet? what's that all about. it was like a swarm, all the perfectly nice and well meaning people i've been ignoring in my pathetic fear for the past 15 years suddenly going hey you! how you doing.
i need a breather. a quiet bloo place where tigger looks at me and the only people that have access to me are the ones i chose to have access to me. so that i can whine publicly lol. life's a contradiction so whatever.
back to the workplace. prolly another reason i've migrated to this place. i used to cry at this place when i so desired, but now that there is more people here, well it's hard to cry when one of the objects of your annoyance is looking at you through your glass window.
not to dwell.
my boss said this morning, in response to an email i've had for 2 weeks that i hadn't yet got done, that i don't often get criticism so this is criticism - the email should have had a response from me much earlier and it is too late now. come to think of it, that seems like his catchphrase for today, he used it in relation to a couple of other things too. anyway. of course i'm going to examine a comment like that. does he mean that he doesn't criticise me enough but there is plenty of cause for criticism, so i should listen carefully to this one? and when should i have responded to that particular email? it must be that either i don't work enough or i don't manage my time efficiently. i work approximately 50-60 hours a week, my lunch break consists of a 30 second walk to get a sandwich and then 30 seconds back (and about 50 seconds it takes them to make the sandwich). my time management usually gets interrupted by whatever crisis/deadline arises and requires assistance.
anyway.
i'm over it.
no, really.
whatever.
it must be me i think.
life's become monotonous and i'm bored. i must spend less time crying though because crying is not for tough girls. lol. i almost miss those days when indulging in self hatred was the order of the day and minute by minute survival took precedence over everything else. i wonder if i'll go back to them and it's probably unfortunate that i would not be aghast if i was to go back to them. i didn't hated myself then, but i don't think i like myself any better now.