(no subject)
well, the interview was tragic. i was dumb. and if one more person says no you weren't, i'm going to scream.
ok so i wasn't quite that stupid. i was ordinary. and there is nothing worse than being ordinary. majorly sucking is better than being ordinary. so yes the interview was tragic and i sucked. majorly. not even enough to suck, just to enough to be ordinary. i hate being ordinary. beyond belief. and i'm so mad at myself. i could have been better, i could have stood out... if i had prepared better. i didn't... because. i don't even know why. just because.
so yes the glass of wine is full, sprite is cooling in the freezer, vodka warming on the bench and pot waiting for mat's friend to go. lexilium is there for when i come to the point where being out of it is not comforting enough, and i just want to pass out. i was reading the sample interview questions earlier today, and one of them was "how do you deal with bad incidences". Well, obviously I deal by being armed and stocked by every legal and semi legal drug i can get my hands on. it's really not a bad way to deal with things. tomorrow i will be too preoccupied with physical effects of tonight to worry about being tragically stupid in an interview. and when the next interview comes around, hopefully either the humiliation of being ordinary or the ill effects of tonight will remind me to be better. to prepare better. that wasn't even a question in the interview. the questions, like me, were ordinary. i could have done so well had i bothered to prepare better. alkdjfklasdfjakl jlkjksdladf. rambling should not be an interview tactic. neither should hoping that the interviewers can't see the snot seeping out of your nose. he did mention that he found it admirable that i came despite how sick i sounded. or soemthign to that effect, i didn't really hear him, i was too busy trynig to sniff quietly.
argh.
type less and drink more wine. wine makes life better.
haha. i'm taking comfort in bush's 'admission' that he is responsible for failed iraqi strategy. apparently you can be stuipd and still get to places in life. which could be the case had i been incredibly stuipd in the interview, like bush is incredibly stupid in life. but no, i was ordinary. i HATE ordinary.
i should prolly stop spilling my hate in here. but then why, nobody really reads this, including me.
akdfjaklsdfjal;sdkfjaoiwejadlsjfa ajdkfljasdklfj a;fjo;eijfl skjfal;kjdf
i'm not a violent person but i'm feeling a strong urge to strangle something/someone. anything/anyone. i'm sure i'll get over it. the thought of watching more gilmore girls is sickening. because their lives are so sickeningly perfect even when they fail.
yes, i'm quite aware i sound like a bitter old maid.
oh well.
i suck, and not even extraordinarily. my plan of action is to go through the phone book and send my resume to various law firms in the surrounding areas. maybe i'll hit jack pot adn get a clerkship. or maybe i'll spend a lot more time drinking wine and spilling inadequacies in this journal. who really cares? if only i didn't i would be a lot happier. either that or i had the capability to forgive myself. haha.
i remind myself of paris from girlmore girls, minus all the effort and stuff she does. which really makes for an incredibly bitter person. and since i still don't have the i'm not bitter and i'm not dwellnig t shirt, i must be bitter.
haha. i just called kim and asked her if she can get rayf to make me a not bitter nto dwelling tshirt and bring it home tonight. i'll wear it to work tomorrow. oh i crack myself up.
ok so i wasn't quite that stupid. i was ordinary. and there is nothing worse than being ordinary. majorly sucking is better than being ordinary. so yes the interview was tragic and i sucked. majorly. not even enough to suck, just to enough to be ordinary. i hate being ordinary. beyond belief. and i'm so mad at myself. i could have been better, i could have stood out... if i had prepared better. i didn't... because. i don't even know why. just because.
so yes the glass of wine is full, sprite is cooling in the freezer, vodka warming on the bench and pot waiting for mat's friend to go. lexilium is there for when i come to the point where being out of it is not comforting enough, and i just want to pass out. i was reading the sample interview questions earlier today, and one of them was "how do you deal with bad incidences". Well, obviously I deal by being armed and stocked by every legal and semi legal drug i can get my hands on. it's really not a bad way to deal with things. tomorrow i will be too preoccupied with physical effects of tonight to worry about being tragically stupid in an interview. and when the next interview comes around, hopefully either the humiliation of being ordinary or the ill effects of tonight will remind me to be better. to prepare better. that wasn't even a question in the interview. the questions, like me, were ordinary. i could have done so well had i bothered to prepare better. alkdjfklasdfjakl jlkjksdladf. rambling should not be an interview tactic. neither should hoping that the interviewers can't see the snot seeping out of your nose. he did mention that he found it admirable that i came despite how sick i sounded. or soemthign to that effect, i didn't really hear him, i was too busy trynig to sniff quietly.
argh.
type less and drink more wine. wine makes life better.
haha. i'm taking comfort in bush's 'admission' that he is responsible for failed iraqi strategy. apparently you can be stuipd and still get to places in life. which could be the case had i been incredibly stuipd in the interview, like bush is incredibly stupid in life. but no, i was ordinary. i HATE ordinary.
i should prolly stop spilling my hate in here. but then why, nobody really reads this, including me.
akdfjaklsdfjal;sdkfjaoiwejadlsjfa ajdkfljasdklfj a;fjo;eijfl skjfal;kjdf
i'm not a violent person but i'm feeling a strong urge to strangle something/someone. anything/anyone. i'm sure i'll get over it. the thought of watching more gilmore girls is sickening. because their lives are so sickeningly perfect even when they fail.
yes, i'm quite aware i sound like a bitter old maid.
oh well.
i suck, and not even extraordinarily. my plan of action is to go through the phone book and send my resume to various law firms in the surrounding areas. maybe i'll hit jack pot adn get a clerkship. or maybe i'll spend a lot more time drinking wine and spilling inadequacies in this journal. who really cares? if only i didn't i would be a lot happier. either that or i had the capability to forgive myself. haha.
i remind myself of paris from girlmore girls, minus all the effort and stuff she does. which really makes for an incredibly bitter person. and since i still don't have the i'm not bitter and i'm not dwellnig t shirt, i must be bitter.
haha. i just called kim and asked her if she can get rayf to make me a not bitter nto dwelling tshirt and bring it home tonight. i'll wear it to work tomorrow. oh i crack myself up.