Just LOOK At That Icon...
...You think I'm feelin' happy right now?
Yes, it's been awhile since I've posted. I've been super busy. And by super busy, I mean it's ALL finally starting to get to me. School, and family.
Family is the same it's always been. But the slight stress I get from dealing with family is piling in on top of my school work stress, and I've reverted back to some really bad habits this semester. I've been putting off EVERYTHING possible, and I've racked up more than a few late assignments. But, over Thanksgiving break, I REALLY dropped the ball. I COMPLETELY fucking forgot about my part in a group project, and one of the guys I was working with ended up doing my part.
I have never felt like such a douche bag.
How many times have I done a whole project myself because my partners were no shows? How many fucking times have I bitched and moaned about it, whilst secretly preening over my incredible dexterity of work ethic? Now, though, I'm guilty of the very thing I told myself I'd never do and I am a complete, fucking loser.
And to think, I was SO excited yesterday. Mom bought me a fox cap. Now it just stares at me, accusing. "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BITCH".
The stress itself...I don't know what to do with it anymore. It seems I ALWAYS fall back onto bad habits no matter how hard I try to get away from them. I make myself forget about all my stress whenever I can, and it's become second nature by now. Half the time I feel like crying, but I usually stamp it down and force the impulse to pass.
I don't know. Maybe I should tell Dad. He'll be pissed with me probably, but it really is getting to me this time. I feel lost and hopeless. I feel like some bum who isn't going anywhere in life, who just so happens to come from a family of fucking geniuses. The fuck.
Uggghhh...God dammit to hell and back.
Anyway...I'll check back in later and let everyone know how everything turned out.
Yes, it's been awhile since I've posted. I've been super busy. And by super busy, I mean it's ALL finally starting to get to me. School, and family.
Family is the same it's always been. But the slight stress I get from dealing with family is piling in on top of my school work stress, and I've reverted back to some really bad habits this semester. I've been putting off EVERYTHING possible, and I've racked up more than a few late assignments. But, over Thanksgiving break, I REALLY dropped the ball. I COMPLETELY fucking forgot about my part in a group project, and one of the guys I was working with ended up doing my part.
I have never felt like such a douche bag.
How many times have I done a whole project myself because my partners were no shows? How many fucking times have I bitched and moaned about it, whilst secretly preening over my incredible dexterity of work ethic? Now, though, I'm guilty of the very thing I told myself I'd never do and I am a complete, fucking loser.
And to think, I was SO excited yesterday. Mom bought me a fox cap. Now it just stares at me, accusing. "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BITCH".
The stress itself...I don't know what to do with it anymore. It seems I ALWAYS fall back onto bad habits no matter how hard I try to get away from them. I make myself forget about all my stress whenever I can, and it's become second nature by now. Half the time I feel like crying, but I usually stamp it down and force the impulse to pass.
I don't know. Maybe I should tell Dad. He'll be pissed with me probably, but it really is getting to me this time. I feel lost and hopeless. I feel like some bum who isn't going anywhere in life, who just so happens to come from a family of fucking geniuses. The fuck.
Uggghhh...God dammit to hell and back.
Anyway...I'll check back in later and let everyone know how everything turned out.