(no subject)
I got my job back, Kristy is going to call me on Friday and tell me when I start. I really need to start doing more and making more of myself. I want a job, I want good grades at college, and I want to be able to take care of myself. I want to be proud of myself and I want to be something great. I wanna leave my reputation as the JHS Fag behind me and move on... I don't think its even a matter of wanting anymore, I need to do these things. I need to grow up, and I need to learn to rely on myself. I need to be the real me. Not the bitchy asshole me, but the person I used to be. Kinda bitchy, but mostly honest... Willing to do anything for my friends... I hate what I've become and I'm going to get past it. I feel like I can do anything. The accident kind of woke me up to that fact, I can do whatever I want as long as I think I can. Belief is a strong, strong thing.
I still have my moments though. Today was the first day in three days where I wasn't intoxicated or stoned to some degree. I just couldn't take the aftermath of the break up. It was too much for me, probably too much for anyone. I never realized how much I've changed in the past year... I need to pull a Joey Potter and find myself again. The real me.
I still have my moments though. Today was the first day in three days where I wasn't intoxicated or stoned to some degree. I just couldn't take the aftermath of the break up. It was too much for me, probably too much for anyone. I never realized how much I've changed in the past year... I need to pull a Joey Potter and find myself again. The real me.