Three more days...
Today is the day that I get my stitches removed... Which means that there are still three more days until I can actually be seen in public. Time is going by so slowly, and its driving me completely insane. Not being able to be seen by anyone, not being able to go anywhere, barely being able to eat... It sucks. I don't recommend it for anyone. What sucks more is that I also have a fucking cold.
I don't know whats going on with any of my friends anymore, either... Nadia is completely and totally avoiding me. She keeps worrying that I hate her, but I don't. I'm not even mad at her. Even though I don't necessarily remember the accident, I feel that it probably was her fault... Like twenty minutes before it I was making fun of how bad she was speeding. I mean come on, we hit a moving car on the express way... But just because I think that doesn't mean that there is any anger or hatred. There isn't. If anything, I'm starting to get mad at Nadia for avoiding me. Nadia and Jason came her to visit on Friday, and I haven't heard anything from them since.
David's been here a lot since the accident happened. I bought him a CD and sent him flowers for 11 month anniversery. Some say our anniverseries shouldn't count since we've broken up a few times, but I don't care.
Amanda, Heather, Stacy, Christina, Kierstin, Amie, and Paris have all been here to see me atleast once. I wish they'd come more, but I understand why they don't. Gnat has been here a lot and has shown a lot of concern throughout the whole thing. He also wrote me a really nice poem that meant a lot to me.
I haven't seen or heard anything from Eileen. Gnat said he told her last night and she just didn't care at all. She just made some comment and stopped talking about it. Someone who used to be my best friend...
I've talked to PeeWee and Jeremy a lot online... And I made sure that Damon told Jessica so she wouldn't think I was avoiding her or anything. I've talked to Jenn a lot about it too, and Tarah once or twice.
So I have three more days of sitting on my ass ahead of me. As PeeWee said, I don't have to... But I am because I'm a stubborn asshole. I'll come back when I have my retainer. I'll come back when I'm not a freak of nature.
I'm afraid that this is going to like ruin my life. Its barely been a week and my friends have all scattered. Nadia is so afraid of me hating her that she acts like I don't exist, and the others aren't much better.
I'm just so god damned restless.
I don't know whats going on with any of my friends anymore, either... Nadia is completely and totally avoiding me. She keeps worrying that I hate her, but I don't. I'm not even mad at her. Even though I don't necessarily remember the accident, I feel that it probably was her fault... Like twenty minutes before it I was making fun of how bad she was speeding. I mean come on, we hit a moving car on the express way... But just because I think that doesn't mean that there is any anger or hatred. There isn't. If anything, I'm starting to get mad at Nadia for avoiding me. Nadia and Jason came her to visit on Friday, and I haven't heard anything from them since.
David's been here a lot since the accident happened. I bought him a CD and sent him flowers for 11 month anniversery. Some say our anniverseries shouldn't count since we've broken up a few times, but I don't care.
Amanda, Heather, Stacy, Christina, Kierstin, Amie, and Paris have all been here to see me atleast once. I wish they'd come more, but I understand why they don't. Gnat has been here a lot and has shown a lot of concern throughout the whole thing. He also wrote me a really nice poem that meant a lot to me.
I haven't seen or heard anything from Eileen. Gnat said he told her last night and she just didn't care at all. She just made some comment and stopped talking about it. Someone who used to be my best friend...
I've talked to PeeWee and Jeremy a lot online... And I made sure that Damon told Jessica so she wouldn't think I was avoiding her or anything. I've talked to Jenn a lot about it too, and Tarah once or twice.
So I have three more days of sitting on my ass ahead of me. As PeeWee said, I don't have to... But I am because I'm a stubborn asshole. I'll come back when I have my retainer. I'll come back when I'm not a freak of nature.
I'm afraid that this is going to like ruin my life. Its barely been a week and my friends have all scattered. Nadia is so afraid of me hating her that she acts like I don't exist, and the others aren't much better.
I'm just so god damned restless.