(no subject)
So this isn't Evan. Most people who will read this don't even know who I am so I won't bother to give my real name.To be honest, this is my first time writing in one of these things. I didn't even know what this was like a week ago. I think I am just at a point in my life where it would be nice to write down the things in my mind and hear what other people have to say about it. I have an emptiness inside of me that never seems to leave. It doesn't matter what I do. There seems to be something missing and, regardless of the fact that I find myself looking for it each and every day, I can't find any answers. For a while I had a hope that I was going to leave the life that I've been living thus far; unfortunately, I'm not. I was more prepared to leave than anything else in the world. Now that I'm staying, I feel sort of desperate for a release. Maybe the answer lies in the thing that I have been searching for for so long. I don't know. What I do know is that I have developed a very unfortunate knack for hurting the people I love and pushing them away before they have a chance to leave me. What does that mean? A standard explanation would be my simple fear of abandonment (if you know anything about my past this will make perfect sense).