(no subject)
Last night I was thinking of all the things I could have done that while completely without malace and while I would have done them completely innocently could have changed one thing totally into something else. Self serving thoughts?.. Perhaps, but in a way only fair - if we don't serve ourselves how will we get what we want? Charity?, certainly not. Maybe things definately are better as they are and it's best that those things I could have done didn't happen.. I was going to write all those things I could have done down here, in my journal.. Maybe I still will - no spite, no malace, no anger, simply regret over what I would like to be.
But as I said, perhaps things are best this way - I am starting to belive this is so, just because I feel I want something doesn't mean that it is the best course of action, yes I would still like it, I appreciate the idea, but... maybe things are for the best.
Now I come on and all I can think about is what wonderful friends I have - about just how special my close group is - and it's this same close group that my possible actions would have heavily affected - I really couldn't ask for a better bunch - loving the things I love, amazingly fun, all exceedingly intelligent, with brilliant intuitive and creative senses of humour, and all highly sensitive to me. I was walking through town today and ran into one of this group that means so much to me and he knew right off what was upsetting me and who it related too - even tho we haven't spoken at all of it and have seen little of each other lately...
No, I'm *not* drunk, just in a disgustingly good mood thanks to being around this bunch :)
But as I said, perhaps things are best this way - I am starting to belive this is so, just because I feel I want something doesn't mean that it is the best course of action, yes I would still like it, I appreciate the idea, but... maybe things are for the best.
Now I come on and all I can think about is what wonderful friends I have - about just how special my close group is - and it's this same close group that my possible actions would have heavily affected - I really couldn't ask for a better bunch - loving the things I love, amazingly fun, all exceedingly intelligent, with brilliant intuitive and creative senses of humour, and all highly sensitive to me. I was walking through town today and ran into one of this group that means so much to me and he knew right off what was upsetting me and who it related too - even tho we haven't spoken at all of it and have seen little of each other lately...
No, I'm *not* drunk, just in a disgustingly good mood thanks to being around this bunch :)