Transmission
...Please pardon the extended delay..- while life hasn't been particularly intense as of late, the motivation to write these entries hasn't been present. While I've sought to do so, the drive has eluded me for reasons I don't particularly understand. It's not as if conditions forbid it- After all, with this new line of work, I'm stuck behind a computer for the better portion of eight hours- data entry- it's a pain in the ass, but considering the menial nature of the tasks at hand, the hourly wage is surprisingly generous....And it's been this way for two weeks, making it all too easy to stagnate. Life's hit a bit of a lull- While the world continues to rotate, I remain considerably inert- waiting for internal changes manifest, without expending the necessary force, risking brief humiliation and discomfort for the sake of lasting drive and happiness...Aware of this trend for as long as I can recall, the only violence taken against this state of stagnation has been minimal at best....GRE prep and music lessons aside, the whole of my existence in this past month and a half has been devoid of meaning. I keep hoping for something significant to transpire in my favor- a chance meeting that stops all time, a sudden burst of whimsy sends me afar into some grand experience that forever alters my attitude....Then again, such grandiosity is simply a product of spiritual lethargy....
.....While I try to communicate to friends and family, I find that very few are willing to listen....While I'm aware that they might very well be engaged in their own dilemmas, it would be nice, for once, for any of them were willing to initiate our encounters- I'm sick of being the one who maintains these increasingly brittle ties....In every sense of the word, the greater portion of these bonds are no longer worthy of the title 'friendships,' but mere acquaintance- Nobody's willing to bear the burden I so willingly shoulder on behalf of others....It's not as if I should expect such things, but it would most certainly reaffirm my beliefs in the strength of said bonds...
I need to escape this....I know that this is far from my life's apex- If this were the case,.....Well, I wouldn't know what to believe.....Urgh...Damn it all...I'm so sick of stagnation.
.....While I try to communicate to friends and family, I find that very few are willing to listen....While I'm aware that they might very well be engaged in their own dilemmas, it would be nice, for once, for any of them were willing to initiate our encounters- I'm sick of being the one who maintains these increasingly brittle ties....In every sense of the word, the greater portion of these bonds are no longer worthy of the title 'friendships,' but mere acquaintance- Nobody's willing to bear the burden I so willingly shoulder on behalf of others....It's not as if I should expect such things, but it would most certainly reaffirm my beliefs in the strength of said bonds...
I need to escape this....I know that this is far from my life's apex- If this were the case,.....Well, I wouldn't know what to believe.....Urgh...Damn it all...I'm so sick of stagnation.