school

[boylikeme]

its 3:30 am and im not tired. i'm stressed out, pissed off, nervous and anxious about the next few months. for quite a while now i've been more in control over my life than i am currently. to counter this imbalance, i've set up a system for myself of making new to-do lists every few days, which is proving to be time and energy consuming with few positive results. i keep finding myself on a delicate balance of self-assurance and self-hatred. there are so many things i know i'm good at, and for some reason i feel like i've put myself in a situation where i'm not accessing them. i understand that in theory i will grow, but i wonder if i've chosen the best way to do it.

really, im just pissed off at myself for not doing a big chunk of homework and not having a clean room.