(no subject)
god knows i never cared about being cool.
suddenly fludded with the feelings of nobody loves me. or even cares. i know its not true. i'm realistic. its just... some people i want to miss me and care. fucking hell. bad thoughts, go away, be fixed.
i rode my bike to town today, to school to develope films and make photographs thought of my richey on the way. with a tear in my eye. i meant every declaration of forever glamour twin lovers, i swear. but i never told anyone about her. only jussi. havent heard a peep from him in ages. someone told me he's gone bad from being the prettiest of glamrock boys in town. but i dont know. there was friction, after all that happened once upon a time in the summertime. i have to see it for myself. its not about trust, its about a point of view.
i try writing my bad emo poetry lyrics, but nothing comes out. and not even the photos are that good and i was going to call her today but couldnt, didnt know what to say. and there was no right moment. today doesnt feel like saturday. and i think i missed out yesterday, completely. what happened. i dont register it. i know it was there. i remember glimpse of quer as folk and unloveable being played on the background as brian drinks and michael's mum gives him a hard time (for a reason, as usual) where is my queen is dead, by the way? it has dissappeared.
i was cutting my hair in the studio on thursday. but we ran out of time so it was just a tiny fistful. and you cant even notice it really. more next week, should i save some for saturday and tavastia girls room? no one appreciates my 'brilliant ideas'. + oh, i have a new layout.