Dec 26, 2012 17:50
the holiday blues are here in full swing at my house. it could be that my husband is out of town, or it could be that i have this flu i can't seem to kick, or it could be that i gave the aforementioned flu to my entire family and i feel awful about that! i want 2012 to be over already with a fresh start for 2013. i am sick of my health issues which are obviously not ending anytime soon.
it's a long story and without getting too into it, basically i was having some health issues that over and over pointed to thyroid problems, but when i did testing, nothing really seemed that off. then, in october during a routine check up, my doctor saw (not felt...SAW, that's how large it is) a tumor in my thyroid, sticking out of my neck like an adams apple. ever since then, i've had biopsies and testing, ultrasounds and honestly some pretty depressing doctor's appointments with no definite plan of action besides just "watching and waiting" -- meanwhile, i feel like i'm asleep through my entire day. every day.
i just want to have the energy to live my own life and not feel perpetually maxed out.
often i try to suck it up and do the things i know i'll enjoy (or just things that i feel obligated to do) even if i'm tired, and that's probably why i keep getting the flu. i'm just exhausted.
what are my options?
2013, will you be different?
tumor, will you go away?
sadness,
if wishes were fishes,
life,
secret