You & Him
I know this is a little long but please read through this I am just so.... lost and confused and I need advice badly.
I just need to get this off my chest to strangers because sometimes it's better to get unbiased opinions or comments.
The bf (now ex) were together for a little over a year. We fell in love quick and he couldn't WAIT to tell me he loved me after a couple months. He's a marine, which made me VERY Leary at first to even pursue anything with him as my past military dating experiences have been pure SHIT and the marines I know are rowdy and such. He told me to give him a chance and that he's "not like the others" (typical to say) but I did give him a chance and realized he really wasn't. He's a happy hippie kind of guy. Loves the outdoors, wants to hike the Appalachian trail. Is peaceful and happy all the time, doesn't hang out with the guys he works with, gets along easily with everyone and everyone of my friends and family love him to death. This is a first.
He treats me so well too but we have our issues like anyone else and his biggest issue is that we can NEVER talk about anything serious ever. He will brush it off and out it in the back of his mind until it's too late or he brings things up when it's not even relevant anymore. If I force him to talk about issues we NEED to talk about right then and there we fight because he gets really mad and can't process the issue properly because he doesn't want to face it. Well we ultimately decided to break up because in a couple months he will be out of the Marines and headed back to Maine where his family and friends live. I live in VA. That's quite a ways away and after not really being able to spend much time with them during his 8+ years of service, he deserves to be with them and go where he actually WANTS to go but he said he can't do long distance relationships..... wouldn't even discuss it with me for a minute it was blunt and to the point....he can't do them. WHY? Because he dated 2 girls where when he deployed they cheated on him.... 2 girls who are not me, someone like him who deserves a fair chance only I actually GAVE him that chance that he asked for, so what about me? Guess it doesn't apply. He just doesn't trust me to be faithful I suppose so thank you other girls for ruining that for me and fucking him up. So not fair.
Well it's been 4+ months since we broke up though we are really good friends, hang out a lot and kind of act like we are still a couple because we both love eachother and he hasn't moved yet but he thinks this will be easier somehow in the end when he leaves. Well I met another guy recently. He and I have so much in common it's scary. Most of our favorites are the same and he's cute, sweet, and I have the biggest crush, it's refreshing. He lives really far though but already says he will be moving closer to me and we've only hung out a few times. He says the sweetest things to me in the morning and at night and throughout the day. I can't help but to feel like I want to explore this but I also feel like I like it because it's new and I miss those crushes. Well COINCIDENTALLY as I am really into this new guy, the ex comes out of nowhere with a hint of marriage. He finally opens up and says hey I know what I have in you and I love you s much I want a family with you and want to be with you forever etc etc and I believe these things but I feel like wow wtf, you had ALL this time and so many chances to talk to me when I asked you to or asked you how you felt or tried to bring up marriage and kids. You wait until we are broken up and when YOU are good and ready and I'm supposed to just say okay? I would love to but I am so hurt. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel like there were so many opportunities for him to speak up and now that I gave up on us and was finally ready to move on he hits me with this...I don't want to lose him but I feel like it's unfair and yet he's moving regardless of my decision and I can't go with him anytime soon anyway so I am completely lost.
I'm going to be heartbroken either way I think. We'd be happy together but when would I be able to move? I wasn't worth him staying clearly or I wouldn't be in this predicament right now and I wouldn't have looked elsewhere if we were together :( I just don't know what to do. And the other guy is looking for a serious long term relationship and marriage himself so both guys are ready only one will be closer than the other and I have a really good job with really good benefits that I'm scared to lose as well. The whole situation is f*cked.
I just need to get this off my chest to strangers because sometimes it's better to get unbiased opinions or comments.
The bf (now ex) were together for a little over a year. We fell in love quick and he couldn't WAIT to tell me he loved me after a couple months. He's a marine, which made me VERY Leary at first to even pursue anything with him as my past military dating experiences have been pure SHIT and the marines I know are rowdy and such. He told me to give him a chance and that he's "not like the others" (typical to say) but I did give him a chance and realized he really wasn't. He's a happy hippie kind of guy. Loves the outdoors, wants to hike the Appalachian trail. Is peaceful and happy all the time, doesn't hang out with the guys he works with, gets along easily with everyone and everyone of my friends and family love him to death. This is a first.
He treats me so well too but we have our issues like anyone else and his biggest issue is that we can NEVER talk about anything serious ever. He will brush it off and out it in the back of his mind until it's too late or he brings things up when it's not even relevant anymore. If I force him to talk about issues we NEED to talk about right then and there we fight because he gets really mad and can't process the issue properly because he doesn't want to face it. Well we ultimately decided to break up because in a couple months he will be out of the Marines and headed back to Maine where his family and friends live. I live in VA. That's quite a ways away and after not really being able to spend much time with them during his 8+ years of service, he deserves to be with them and go where he actually WANTS to go but he said he can't do long distance relationships..... wouldn't even discuss it with me for a minute it was blunt and to the point....he can't do them. WHY? Because he dated 2 girls where when he deployed they cheated on him.... 2 girls who are not me, someone like him who deserves a fair chance only I actually GAVE him that chance that he asked for, so what about me? Guess it doesn't apply. He just doesn't trust me to be faithful I suppose so thank you other girls for ruining that for me and fucking him up. So not fair.
Well it's been 4+ months since we broke up though we are really good friends, hang out a lot and kind of act like we are still a couple because we both love eachother and he hasn't moved yet but he thinks this will be easier somehow in the end when he leaves. Well I met another guy recently. He and I have so much in common it's scary. Most of our favorites are the same and he's cute, sweet, and I have the biggest crush, it's refreshing. He lives really far though but already says he will be moving closer to me and we've only hung out a few times. He says the sweetest things to me in the morning and at night and throughout the day. I can't help but to feel like I want to explore this but I also feel like I like it because it's new and I miss those crushes. Well COINCIDENTALLY as I am really into this new guy, the ex comes out of nowhere with a hint of marriage. He finally opens up and says hey I know what I have in you and I love you s much I want a family with you and want to be with you forever etc etc and I believe these things but I feel like wow wtf, you had ALL this time and so many chances to talk to me when I asked you to or asked you how you felt or tried to bring up marriage and kids. You wait until we are broken up and when YOU are good and ready and I'm supposed to just say okay? I would love to but I am so hurt. Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel like there were so many opportunities for him to speak up and now that I gave up on us and was finally ready to move on he hits me with this...I don't want to lose him but I feel like it's unfair and yet he's moving regardless of my decision and I can't go with him anytime soon anyway so I am completely lost.
I'm going to be heartbroken either way I think. We'd be happy together but when would I be able to move? I wasn't worth him staying clearly or I wouldn't be in this predicament right now and I wouldn't have looked elsewhere if we were together :( I just don't know what to do. And the other guy is looking for a serious long term relationship and marriage himself so both guys are ready only one will be closer than the other and I have a really good job with really good benefits that I'm scared to lose as well. The whole situation is f*cked.