(no subject)
I hate not having anyone to hang out with then when i finally get to hangout with the people i actually want to hang out with, people don't want to go anymore because someone they like isn't going, or can't because bla bla bla and my mom says only for an hour and i see no fucking point in living like this because it's tearing me apart cause i sit here day after day after fucking DAY going insane sitting here and i can't do anything about it cause people are flaky and have no time for their supposed best friend. you know this year has really sucked more than anything and i hope next years better but i fucking doubt it because i'm going to the fucking school where i like 3 people total and the whole time i'm thinking about somewhere else but when i get somewhere else i feal like shit again. and you know what? I feal like fucking killing myself because no one has time for me anymore. i guess i'm just self centered typical teenager, but if shit doesn't get better i'm fucking doing it because i have no purpose in life. it's too hard to go on the way i've been going. I'm sick of being someones BEST FRIEND and the second someone comes along their gone and have forgotten and i'm left alone and tired of this fucking nonsense. I don't mind there being someone else there all the time, but I didn't expect you to dissapear. I really don't understand how someone can just completely (more or less) stop hanging out with the person thats been there for them for a whole year everyday hanging out talking having fun. And when you stop on me, whoevers reading, cause i know you will, don't act like we're BFF extreme anymore. i'd rather you talked shit and said you hate me because fakeness is an ugly face darling and i'm beginning to fucking hate you as much as i've hated other people that we used to hate together. I'm sick and tired of everyones stupid image. I'm sick of pretending like I'm fine with the way things are and saying "okay, it's fine, we'll hang out later." Don't tell me anymore that you miss me DON'T FUCKING SAY IT ALRIGHT? I COULD GIVE A SHIT LESS ABOUT YOUR SORRY EXCUSES FOR NOT BEING THERE. I'm over our whole friendship because i feal like it's not coming back so why the fuck wait? I'm really sorry that it's come down to this, but if your not doug, and you think your my best friend, YOUR WRONG. Really, I'm sorry because i really thought we'd be alright after a while but I'm done. Call me when you want to be friends again, maybe I'll pick up. I guess it takes one big descision to tell me if your really my friends, boys and girls because apparently, i'm not good enough for keeps.