think of me as programmable soda!
I have been too contemplative lately. I like being busy enough that I dont have to even think about stuff. I like coming home at 9, watching my Tivo'd shows, and going to bed. I like that routine, and I dont like having the time to think about how I feel about being alone, and how I feel about my life. I hate that time.
And because I hate that time, more and more of it has been coming my way. Brooke is getting married this weekend, and she and I havent really talked in monthsrea. I have this horrible aching feeling all the time that this friendship is just inching closer to the cliff, and soon it will be gone. I feel like she has made her choices, and that includes her husband and family and not her friends. I told her I was concerned about her not making an effort to continue our friendship and she said it was a two way street, and I agree, but at the same time I don't really think I am the one NOT making the effort. Whatever, I am helping out as much as I can with the wedding, and maybe things will change when she doesnt have to worry about planning a wedding. Who knows?
Dan I had this conversation the other night about our circle of friends. I feel very lucky to have found these people. In fact, I feel lucky in general to have found the friends I have my whole life. Everywhere I have gone somehow I have made very good friends. Speaking of that, Julie sent out an email and she is moving back to Kansas, and she will be VERY close to me, and I can't wait. I just wish Ben and Tim and Ross were closer to me, because I miss them everyday.
Dan and I have totaled up how long we have been friends, and its going on 11 years at this point, probably one of the people I have known the longest. He is my best friend, and one of the few people who knows me REALLY well. I feel really bad for all that he is going through, but I want him to know that I will be here for whatever he needs, and I will always be there for him, no matter what.
Thanks to my small circle of friends, Topeka has become much more bearable. I am pretty happy in my job, and I am pretty happy in my life. I get to work in the theatre as much as I want, and I love teaching these kids. Life is good at the moment. Sometimes I have to keep repeating that to make sure I remember that when times get shitty.
(By the way, I have started hanging out with J.Gish lately, and I cant wait to do it more, she is someone I am sad that I grew apart from, and now I am really excited for us to start being friends again)
Here are some song lyrics that I have reminded me of where I am now:
"Someone come quickly, this place was built for moving out.
Leave behind buildings, the city planners got mapped out.
Bring with you history, and make your hard earned feast." (Rilo Kiley, The Execution of All Things)
"Plus I have this whole new family
And I'm in love with each of them
And I'm on this list called lucky
Whenever I'm in reach of them
And I'm learning how to say
That I'd be happy either way
With your love" (Ani Difranco, Educated Guess)
American Doll Possee comes out in two weeks. I cant wait.
And because I hate that time, more and more of it has been coming my way. Brooke is getting married this weekend, and she and I havent really talked in monthsrea. I have this horrible aching feeling all the time that this friendship is just inching closer to the cliff, and soon it will be gone. I feel like she has made her choices, and that includes her husband and family and not her friends. I told her I was concerned about her not making an effort to continue our friendship and she said it was a two way street, and I agree, but at the same time I don't really think I am the one NOT making the effort. Whatever, I am helping out as much as I can with the wedding, and maybe things will change when she doesnt have to worry about planning a wedding. Who knows?
Dan I had this conversation the other night about our circle of friends. I feel very lucky to have found these people. In fact, I feel lucky in general to have found the friends I have my whole life. Everywhere I have gone somehow I have made very good friends. Speaking of that, Julie sent out an email and she is moving back to Kansas, and she will be VERY close to me, and I can't wait. I just wish Ben and Tim and Ross were closer to me, because I miss them everyday.
Dan and I have totaled up how long we have been friends, and its going on 11 years at this point, probably one of the people I have known the longest. He is my best friend, and one of the few people who knows me REALLY well. I feel really bad for all that he is going through, but I want him to know that I will be here for whatever he needs, and I will always be there for him, no matter what.
Thanks to my small circle of friends, Topeka has become much more bearable. I am pretty happy in my job, and I am pretty happy in my life. I get to work in the theatre as much as I want, and I love teaching these kids. Life is good at the moment. Sometimes I have to keep repeating that to make sure I remember that when times get shitty.
(By the way, I have started hanging out with J.Gish lately, and I cant wait to do it more, she is someone I am sad that I grew apart from, and now I am really excited for us to start being friends again)
Here are some song lyrics that I have reminded me of where I am now:
"Someone come quickly, this place was built for moving out.
Leave behind buildings, the city planners got mapped out.
Bring with you history, and make your hard earned feast." (Rilo Kiley, The Execution of All Things)
"Plus I have this whole new family
And I'm in love with each of them
And I'm on this list called lucky
Whenever I'm in reach of them
And I'm learning how to say
That I'd be happy either way
With your love" (Ani Difranco, Educated Guess)
American Doll Possee comes out in two weeks. I cant wait.