(no subject)
hospitalized grandfather ....dead bank account.....health problems....lifes looking up....I thought earlier in the week I'd rather have a ciagrette in a hot texas night then a new england winter...I dont care how pretty it is....loud engines, dirty wind sheilds, hot air at 55 mph....its the only things I can look foward to....I think I just enjoy having friends that are pretty...I do alot with my eyes.....so long distnace relationships are not for me...but there I go....its almost more out of lazyness that I dont quit....but I remembered the other day how nice it was when she was here....I'd like that again....as long as its casual...no "I cant live without you" "your the only one for me""I think im pregnant"....just someone that up for going to the beach whenever...no really...when ever...my grandmother is so frail...was a hardwoking woman....her eyes have compassion ....her smile lack teeth but have faith....I just wanna hug her really really hard..the way you hug when you celebrate something awesome or see someone badass after a long time of not seeing them...