This is such a vulnerable entry.
I had a dream last night that I was once comfortable with- until I woke up and started remembering what was happening in my life, last year. And then I started crying. But I don't think it was because of what happened.. it was because I was remembering the feeling of being hurt. I don't think that memory will ever escape me, yet it once made me happy knowing that I hurt them back.
I want to be stronger than this and not let it make me cry anymore.
I want to do what Ange says and look it in the eye and fight it.
How ironic is it that I find
I am better. I am happier. I need to remember this as I search for things to replace the bad memories of last year with the potential good ones of this year. I need for these things to happen soon, so that I feel stronger in terms of remembering how much better I really am. I need this break to "rock," as Ange says it will. :) And it will, damnit.
Fuck my associative memory. This break will rock just like the summer rocked. And I'll let myself see that I am so much happier.
I want to be stronger than this and not let it make me cry anymore.
I want to do what Ange says and look it in the eye and fight it.
How ironic is it that I find
I am better. I am happier. I need to remember this as I search for things to replace the bad memories of last year with the potential good ones of this year. I need for these things to happen soon, so that I feel stronger in terms of remembering how much better I really am. I need this break to "rock," as Ange says it will. :) And it will, damnit.
Fuck my associative memory. This break will rock just like the summer rocked. And I'll let myself see that I am so much happier.