The accident
May 10, 2008
Today sucked. It just down right sucked. Nick and I had our last day together, spent at Bojangles. Roses, sweet photography shoot, and then coming back to liberty. When we came back to Liberty University we saw a horrifying wreck. The worst one I have ever witnessed. Terrible. The car just swerved by itself into the dirt and overcorrected and flipped four or more times. It was horrifying. The car remained upside-down. I have never seen such a horrific wreck. The whole top was smashed into the passenger side. I looked at nick in a panic having no clue what to do but to call 911. I turned and saw three people whipping out their phones to call, so I just began to pray. I prayed so hard. I was so terrified. I didn’t want to look. My mom always told me not to look at an accident. I told nick not to look. And to keep looking at me. Nick, being a man in the situation gets out of the car to help in anyway he can. I keep praying.
Two other men get out of the car and walk with nick to the overturned car. Horrifying. I kept praying and looking down. I avoid looking at the car all together even though it was in plain view from my seat. I looked at the car beside us and just read their facial expressions. Nick came back to the car very quiet. I asked him if everyone was ok, and he just kind of looked down and said, “I don’t know.” Me, still in a panic just kept rubbing his arm and looking around to gather any information there was from over hearing conversations of the people who had already gathered outside of their cars. I then took note of nick. He kept looking and whipping his hand on his jeans. He then turned to the back and looked around and then looked at me. He asked if I had any hand sanitizer. I didn’t know why he needed it; I had only assumed that he had maybe touched glass or something. He then went on to tell me that the guys wanted to unbuckle him from his seat belt but he told them that was dumb and not to touch his neck. Nick had apparently reached in to check his pulse. There wasn’t one. He said he looked all around him to find a place that wasn’t bloody to be able to take his pulse. I was so sad and horrified for him. I didn’t know what to do, or say, or anything. We just sat there. 911 came. Fire trucks and all. The rescue crew rushed at first, but then I noticed they got slower, and slower. They pulled out the stretcher. I tried not to look in case I saw something that could be potentially disturbing. Then I looked up and a white sheet covered the man’s body. All that was shown was his bare feet. A man left his car behind us and talked to the police, he then asked nick to move his car a little because they were going to turn around and go on the road not even 15 feet away. We followed. It was a silent ride. I didn’t know what to say.
Nick wanted to wash his hands and use the bathroom. The first place we stopped at, he let me go first because I was so anxious that I worked up my bladder. But sadly there was no soap in there. I was so sad to tell him. He seemed really upset. I felt like he just wanted to wash the whole situation away in a sense. He was taking it really hard. We got back in and went to another place a little further down the road. All I could do, or even knew to do was to hug him. We both went and washed our hands. I washed mine about four times, and I didn’t even touch anything. Nick was in there a lot longer. Even though he had already gone to the bathroom-it took just about the same amount of time. I knew he would wash his hands multiple times. He came out with a semi-wet face too. He was really upset.
When we got in the car we started talking. Just small talk. The conversation died down and he gave a big sigh. I started talking a little more. Just about random stuff. Then that conversation kind of stopped too. A few seconds after my last words, he turned to me and said “Brieanna Keep talking to me, please.” His eyes were sad. We are both 19 and so young. We have never seen anything quite like that before. I didn’t stop talking for the next 45 minuets. I needed to keep his mind off of it. I needed to keep my mind off of it.
We have been through so much together. I just wanted to tell him that I loved him, and that everything will be okay. I feel like those are always such good bandage words. They make everything better. But I couldn’t say them. I mean I very well could have, and meant them with my whole heart. I mean I do love him. Just I don’t want the first time I say, “I love you” to be rushed. He’s my rock. He is my number three. I told my mom tonight that I’m so glad he was there with me. If daddy wasn’t there, then I’m glad he was there. My mom realized that he is my rock when my dad’s away.
It was really hard to say goodbye to him. We were both in such a weird mood. It was a sad day. I didn’t want to cry. I cried. I don’t want him to see me sad. But for the first time I looked up with him without clearing my face or wiping my eyes. I think he realized how much I care for him.
It’s going to be hard this summer. He brings out the best in me. It’s hard to go from seeing someone everyday to seeing them every hour for a weekend, then going to not seeing them at all. But we will be okay. These are just things that help us grow. This will also help prepare us for when I transfer. We will be okay. I just need to really depend on the Lord this summer and just really focus my life on Him.
The car ride home was hard. I was scared. Paranoid. Anxious. Sad. I made Brooke talk to me the whole way home. She answered her phone and I have never felt so fearful of driving. I hate driving at night anyhow. The thoughts just flooded my head within those 5 minuets that she was on the phone. I hated every second of it. It was scary. I arrived home safely. I’m so thankful for my family. I’m so thankful for the life that I was given. We are only here for a blink of an eye. And then we are gone. Anything could happen; anything can change within a second. That man didn’t know he was going to die today. And neither will you. It only makes sense as a Christian to life your life for Jesus Christ. We can participate in this world but we just really need to focus on storing our treasures in heaven instead of this world. I’m just so thankful for life.
Today sucked. It just down right sucked. Nick and I had our last day together, spent at Bojangles. Roses, sweet photography shoot, and then coming back to liberty. When we came back to Liberty University we saw a horrifying wreck. The worst one I have ever witnessed. Terrible. The car just swerved by itself into the dirt and overcorrected and flipped four or more times. It was horrifying. The car remained upside-down. I have never seen such a horrific wreck. The whole top was smashed into the passenger side. I looked at nick in a panic having no clue what to do but to call 911. I turned and saw three people whipping out their phones to call, so I just began to pray. I prayed so hard. I was so terrified. I didn’t want to look. My mom always told me not to look at an accident. I told nick not to look. And to keep looking at me. Nick, being a man in the situation gets out of the car to help in anyway he can. I keep praying.
Two other men get out of the car and walk with nick to the overturned car. Horrifying. I kept praying and looking down. I avoid looking at the car all together even though it was in plain view from my seat. I looked at the car beside us and just read their facial expressions. Nick came back to the car very quiet. I asked him if everyone was ok, and he just kind of looked down and said, “I don’t know.” Me, still in a panic just kept rubbing his arm and looking around to gather any information there was from over hearing conversations of the people who had already gathered outside of their cars. I then took note of nick. He kept looking and whipping his hand on his jeans. He then turned to the back and looked around and then looked at me. He asked if I had any hand sanitizer. I didn’t know why he needed it; I had only assumed that he had maybe touched glass or something. He then went on to tell me that the guys wanted to unbuckle him from his seat belt but he told them that was dumb and not to touch his neck. Nick had apparently reached in to check his pulse. There wasn’t one. He said he looked all around him to find a place that wasn’t bloody to be able to take his pulse. I was so sad and horrified for him. I didn’t know what to do, or say, or anything. We just sat there. 911 came. Fire trucks and all. The rescue crew rushed at first, but then I noticed they got slower, and slower. They pulled out the stretcher. I tried not to look in case I saw something that could be potentially disturbing. Then I looked up and a white sheet covered the man’s body. All that was shown was his bare feet. A man left his car behind us and talked to the police, he then asked nick to move his car a little because they were going to turn around and go on the road not even 15 feet away. We followed. It was a silent ride. I didn’t know what to say.
Nick wanted to wash his hands and use the bathroom. The first place we stopped at, he let me go first because I was so anxious that I worked up my bladder. But sadly there was no soap in there. I was so sad to tell him. He seemed really upset. I felt like he just wanted to wash the whole situation away in a sense. He was taking it really hard. We got back in and went to another place a little further down the road. All I could do, or even knew to do was to hug him. We both went and washed our hands. I washed mine about four times, and I didn’t even touch anything. Nick was in there a lot longer. Even though he had already gone to the bathroom-it took just about the same amount of time. I knew he would wash his hands multiple times. He came out with a semi-wet face too. He was really upset.
When we got in the car we started talking. Just small talk. The conversation died down and he gave a big sigh. I started talking a little more. Just about random stuff. Then that conversation kind of stopped too. A few seconds after my last words, he turned to me and said “Brieanna Keep talking to me, please.” His eyes were sad. We are both 19 and so young. We have never seen anything quite like that before. I didn’t stop talking for the next 45 minuets. I needed to keep his mind off of it. I needed to keep my mind off of it.
We have been through so much together. I just wanted to tell him that I loved him, and that everything will be okay. I feel like those are always such good bandage words. They make everything better. But I couldn’t say them. I mean I very well could have, and meant them with my whole heart. I mean I do love him. Just I don’t want the first time I say, “I love you” to be rushed. He’s my rock. He is my number three. I told my mom tonight that I’m so glad he was there with me. If daddy wasn’t there, then I’m glad he was there. My mom realized that he is my rock when my dad’s away.
It was really hard to say goodbye to him. We were both in such a weird mood. It was a sad day. I didn’t want to cry. I cried. I don’t want him to see me sad. But for the first time I looked up with him without clearing my face or wiping my eyes. I think he realized how much I care for him.
It’s going to be hard this summer. He brings out the best in me. It’s hard to go from seeing someone everyday to seeing them every hour for a weekend, then going to not seeing them at all. But we will be okay. These are just things that help us grow. This will also help prepare us for when I transfer. We will be okay. I just need to really depend on the Lord this summer and just really focus my life on Him.
The car ride home was hard. I was scared. Paranoid. Anxious. Sad. I made Brooke talk to me the whole way home. She answered her phone and I have never felt so fearful of driving. I hate driving at night anyhow. The thoughts just flooded my head within those 5 minuets that she was on the phone. I hated every second of it. It was scary. I arrived home safely. I’m so thankful for my family. I’m so thankful for the life that I was given. We are only here for a blink of an eye. And then we are gone. Anything could happen; anything can change within a second. That man didn’t know he was going to die today. And neither will you. It only makes sense as a Christian to life your life for Jesus Christ. We can participate in this world but we just really need to focus on storing our treasures in heaven instead of this world. I’m just so thankful for life.