Plan C
I never wanted Ithaca to feel like a trap. I never wanted to feel bitter about this place, as I've loved it so deeply since before I even came to school here. But if I were to stay in Ithaca any longer, I would be bitter. For the fourth time since May, I'll be packing up all of my things and moving again. I'm leaving Ithaca. Everything about it is bittersweet.
I wasn't supposed to be leaving until next August. I thought the year in Ithaca would do me good. I thought that I'd have a job that was kinda crappy, but something I could live off of. I thought I would be trying to do some art history research on my own, with the help of the IC art history department when needed. What I ended up with was frustration. I have a crappy job, that I actually don't mind - but it doesn't pay me enough to live. I haven't worked on art history research at all. I've been in a rut. Every day seems just like the one before, and every time I blink, I've lost another day, another week, another month. That is not how I want to feel about my life.
Leaving Casey and 420 isn't easy. I love Casey, and I love this house. It feels right, and it feels so very much like home...I hate bailing out on her...but at the same time, I really can't stay...
I also didn't expect to be leaving all my other friends so soon. Its going to be strange not being as close to all of them, and I'm going to miss so many things of what has been daily life with them for more than 4 years. They are my family here. They will always be my family.
But, I'm not going too far. I'm moving to Rochester to live with Shell. While leaving Ithaca and my friends will be difficult - Shell and I living together after college has always been the plan. Sure, the locations have changed over the years, but the plan was always just to get a place together. To start our lives after college together. And when she gets married I get the space over the garage =P So while things will be different, this is what I've always imagined. After being in the life-rut I've been in since, well, second semester last year, living with Shell automatically makes everything that much better. I talk about my friends here as my family - but Shell is my other half. We sign our lease this weekend, and I'll be moving out there in the beginning of November.
I wasn't supposed to be leaving until next August. I thought the year in Ithaca would do me good. I thought that I'd have a job that was kinda crappy, but something I could live off of. I thought I would be trying to do some art history research on my own, with the help of the IC art history department when needed. What I ended up with was frustration. I have a crappy job, that I actually don't mind - but it doesn't pay me enough to live. I haven't worked on art history research at all. I've been in a rut. Every day seems just like the one before, and every time I blink, I've lost another day, another week, another month. That is not how I want to feel about my life.
Leaving Casey and 420 isn't easy. I love Casey, and I love this house. It feels right, and it feels so very much like home...I hate bailing out on her...but at the same time, I really can't stay...
I also didn't expect to be leaving all my other friends so soon. Its going to be strange not being as close to all of them, and I'm going to miss so many things of what has been daily life with them for more than 4 years. They are my family here. They will always be my family.
But, I'm not going too far. I'm moving to Rochester to live with Shell. While leaving Ithaca and my friends will be difficult - Shell and I living together after college has always been the plan. Sure, the locations have changed over the years, but the plan was always just to get a place together. To start our lives after college together. And when she gets married I get the space over the garage =P So while things will be different, this is what I've always imagined. After being in the life-rut I've been in since, well, second semester last year, living with Shell automatically makes everything that much better. I talk about my friends here as my family - but Shell is my other half. We sign our lease this weekend, and I'll be moving out there in the beginning of November.