(no subject)
School started. Without me. Without Casey Doody. We had black Wednesday to kick off our non-academic year. I think the only thing I may be really good at is being a student...and oh, I know I complained about everything school-related, especially towards the end of last year, but a summer vacation was all I needed really...instead of this indefinite, possibly permanent situation of living in the "real world." I work a job I'm not invested in, that doesn't pay me enough. I want to go to grad school...but I've got to figure out that money thing...But, I'm going to start looking for places to apply, most likely Cornell or places in Boston or even ::sigh:: back home if thats what it takes. Skidmore is back home, after all. I just can't see myself living with my dad. Near by, yes, but with? No. I need my own space, and for it to actually be my own to do with what I like. Cornell would be ideal. It wouldn't involve a whole lot of change in my life, I know, but, at the same time, maybe I need something constant anyway. Shell, I'm sure, will understand. I may even try to convince her that we should do the grad school thing together. She wants to get her masters eventually anyway, so it might be good if we pushed each other sooner, rather than later. Who knows.
I'm sure about very little in my life lately, and what I've learned all too harshly lately, is that life is far too short. I'm certain of one thing. Well, maybe two things, because I'm always certain that I want a breast reduction. But the one thing I'm so certain of...is something not likely to happen. Its something I never really expected of myself, but that whole "life is too short" thing? Well, it is, so rather than going with what I expected of myself, I'm taking the road less traveled by me in these situations, and following my instincts...even if it only leaves me broken hearted.
A lot of the time lately, it feels less like I'm living, and more like I'm just breathing. Eating. Sleeping. Working. Surviving. I need to change that.
I'm sure about very little in my life lately, and what I've learned all too harshly lately, is that life is far too short. I'm certain of one thing. Well, maybe two things, because I'm always certain that I want a breast reduction. But the one thing I'm so certain of...is something not likely to happen. Its something I never really expected of myself, but that whole "life is too short" thing? Well, it is, so rather than going with what I expected of myself, I'm taking the road less traveled by me in these situations, and following my instincts...even if it only leaves me broken hearted.
A lot of the time lately, it feels less like I'm living, and more like I'm just breathing. Eating. Sleeping. Working. Surviving. I need to change that.