Kitchen Counter Craft
Title: Kitchen Counter Craft
Pairings: none
Rating: PG for mild violence
Disclaimer: For shits and giggles.
Notes: Was supposed to be a small fill for a picture of felt Sherlock and John dolls on shkinkmeme that grew. I did correct some of the glaring problems but I‘m sure it could use more editing when I get a chance.
“Seriously” Sally questioned Anderson as she held the little dolls?
Anderson snatched them back from her frowning. “I don’t really believe in this stuff. No, I really don’t.” Sally just rolled her eyes. “I am well aware that these things don’t really work. Stop looking at me like that.”
“Looking at you like how? Like you’re crazy? That’s because you are” Sally said.
“They are stress relief dolls. Lots of people have them. I’m not going to stick them with pins or anything” Anderson said. “I don’t really have a problem with Dr. Watson but the bag of felt I bought had extra pieces so I made him too.”
“They are cute” Sally admitted “but they are making me wonder who the freak really is.” Sally left the flat leaving Anderson with his little John and Sherlock dolls.
Anderson stood in his kitchen regarding the dolls. “She’s right this is crazy” he said no one in particular but in the general direction of the hand he was holding the John doll in. He looked at the refrigerator and had an idea. “Let’s see how your cute little scarf keeps you warm in the freezer” Anderson said. He tossed the Sherlock doll into the freezer in between the ice tray and the popsicles and shut the door.
-Meanwhile in 221b Baker Street…….-
John looked up from his laptop at Sherlock. “Did you say something to me?”
“What? No, I didn’t” Sherlock replied from the couch. A couple of minuets the detective shivered violently. “Did it get colder in here” Sherlock asked? “I don’t think so” John replied. “If you’re getting sick don’t come near me. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.”
Sherlock wrapped himself in a blanket, but it wasn’t really helping.
“Okay careful, careful” John Watson said to the shivering detective. “Keep the thermometer in your mouth but just try not to break it. The last thing you need right now is Mercury poisoning. Here just hold it with your hand and not your teeth. Just keep it under your tongue.” John brought Sherlock’s shaking hand to hold the thermometer in place. John noticed distinct chill Sherlock’s skin which was not terribly uncommon for someone spiking a fever. “Now yes or no answers. All right” John asked checking his watch and feeling for the detectives pulse on his wrist?
“ Sore throat” John asked? Sherlock shook his head no. “Coughing, sneezing, congestion” John rattled off symptom after symptom all of which Sherlock shook his head no. In fact it was starting to make him dizzy. “Your heart rate is elevated” John said letting go of Sherlock’s wrist.
John took the thermometer and read it. His brows knit together in confusion and he walked over to the lamp to get more light on the little silver line. “I t-t-told you to g-g-get a digital one” Sherlock stuttered. “You don’t have a fever. You’re borderline hypothermic” John said. “That can’t be right.”
“Imp-p-possible” Sherlock said from the couch wrapping the blanket around him tighter. “Let me see your hands” John said. Sherlock looked up at him for a moment a bit dazed. John didn’t wait for the detective to offer him his hand instead pulling it out from underneath the blanket.
“Your fingers are turning red and they are freezing.” John held Sherlock’s hand in between his own trying to warm them. “Sherlock” John said. Sherlock’s eyes danced over the room a moment before settling on John’s face. “It’s cold John. Why don’t we go inside?”
“We are inside” John replied. When Sherlock was too lost in thought to reply John pulled out his phone and dialed 999.
Sally Donovan was walking into new Scotland yard just as DI Lestrasde was walking out. This could have resulted in a head on collision between the two if Sally hadn’t put her hands out stopping Lestrade. “Watch out” she said. “Mowing down pedestrians is a serious offence and I’d hate to have to arrest you at work.” Lestrade didn’t laugh at the joke. “What’s wrong” Sally asked?
“Got a call from John. Sherlock is in the hospital. He’s hypothermic but they don’t know why” Lestrade said. “Was he stuck outside somewhere” Sally asked? “No, John said they were just sitting in the flat when he just started shivering. I gotta go. I said I would be there.” Sally stopped him again “then I’ll drive you.” “I’m fine” Lestrade replied. “Yeah, tell that to someone who you didn’t almost run down while walking. I’m parked over there.”
Anderson walked into the kitchen to get a snack when he heard an odd noise coming from the freezer. He opened the door and the popsicles fell out and landed next to his feet. Upon further inspection he saw that the Sherlock doll was now stuck to the metal bar sticking out of the ice maker. “How did you get there” he asked?
He unstuck the doll and placed it back where it was. When Anderson bent down to pick up the popsicles he notice the John doll which he had left on the counter was now on the floor in between the counter and the refrigerator. “Is John Watson coming to the rescue” he asked picking up the doll? He smiled at it. “Sally was right. These things are pretty cute.”
He put the popsicles back in the freezer and carried the John doll back to the couch with him sitting him down in the seat next to him. “Relax he’s just a doll. Even when you’re made out of felt and cotton balls you can’t leave him alone.” Anderson though for a moment. “Christ, I’m a grown man talking to dolls.”
In the ambulance he was incoherent. Going on and on about popsicles.” John told Lestrade and Sally when they arrived. “The doctors are trying to find a reason for his secondary hypothermia but so far they have found nothing. No hypoglycemia or neuromuscular inefficiencies they can find. Though he doesn’t eat much he isn’t malnourished enough for that to be a factor.” John sighed.
“I can’t help but feel like I am so close to the answer but I get pulled away for some reason.” Lestrade handed John a cup of coffee. “You know him. Maybe it’s all sorts of personal stuff getting in the way of you solving the problem” Lestrade said.
John ignored the coffee in his hand. “Well they aren’t telling me anything because I’m not family. Sherlock’s brother got here before we did. I don’t know how he does it.” “I didn’t know Sherlock had a brother” Sally said. “His name is Mycroft. That’s him” John said pointing to the man in the suit coming towards them.
“Sherlock is going for some bran scans to see if there is any bleeding” Mycroft said in place of a greeting. “Did they say when we can see him” John asked? “Not for a while. He became extremely combative from what the nurses told me. He kept trying to get out of bed to jam the ice maker as he said. He was delirious. They had to put him in restraints and sedate him.”
“They put him in restraints” John asked shock coloring his voice? “The doctor explained to me it was the best way to keep him from hurting himself and anyone around him” Mycroft replied. “You let them tie him to the bed! That’s just going to agitate him further and cause more problems.” John was shouting at this point.
“Dr. Watson, my brother is on an uncontrollable downward spiral right now. If his condition is corrected and soon he will die so excuse me if I am not especially concerned for his feelings at the moment. He already hates me so why not add one more thing to list of reasons why.”
John and Mycroft were staring at each other and it looked as if John was about to speak when they all heard a loud snap. John cried out in pain now clutching his obviously broken forearm.
Anderson looked under his foot and realized he had step on the arm of the John doll on his way to the bathroom. The doll and somehow moved from the couch to the floor in between the living room and kitchen. He didn’t move it Anderson picked up the doll and back at the couch. “Something is wrong here” he said.
The hospital waiting room was chaotic for a few minuets as Lestrade lead John towards the emergency room. A nurse was demanding an explanation for the disturbance and threatened to have them all thrown out and a janitor was trying to clean up the spilled coffee all at the same time.
That’s when Sally’s phone rang. She answer it with “what” instead of her usual hello. “Um, Sally can you come over? Like right now” Anderson asked? “Why? What did you do now” she asked? “I don’t know what I did but I think I did a bad thing” Anderson said. “Please I will explain when you get here. Just get here and soon” he said before hanging up. Sally growled and sent a text to Lestrade to give her a ring when they found out anything about John’s arm.
Twenty minuets later Sally was walking up the stairs to Anderson’s flat. He was already standing in the doorway waiting for her. Anderson reached out and grabbed her arm dragging her into the Flat. “Something strange is going on” Anderson said closing the door behind her.
“I don’t need you to tell me that. I just watch a man’s arm break in front of my eyes for no apparent reason” Sally said. “What” Anderson asked? “I was at the hospital with Lestrade, John and the Freak’s older brother when for no reason John’s arm just snapped.”
Anderson visibly paled. “Which arm” he asked? “His left. Are you okay? Don’t tell me there is something wrong with you too. What did you do anyway that I had to get here right away?” Anderson cringed and looked as if he was going to be sick.
Sally walked with Anderson into the kitchen when he motioned for her to follow him. On his kitchen counter was the John doll form earlier in the day. “This doll keeps moving on it’s own. I don’t actually see it move but when I turn away it is not where I left it.”
“Oh for Christ’s sake what are you…” Sally began but Anderson cut her off. “When did John’s arm break” Anderson asked gripping her shoulders? “I don’t know exactly” She said. “Was it just before I called you” he asked? “Yes. A few minuets before why?”
Anderson looked back at the doll. Sally followed his gaze looking at the tiny creation. Somehow its face was different in a way she couldn’t identify. The doll looked like it was in pain. “Five minuets before I called you I got up from the couch and stepped on the doll’s left arm” Anderson said.
Realization hit Sally like a ton of bricks though the conclusion she came to she would have laughed at yesterday. “Where is the Sherlock doll” she asked? When Anderson didn’t reply right away she grabbed the arms they were holding her and shook him. “Where is the Sherlock doll” she asked again desperation in her voice?
“I put it in the freezer.”
Sally nearly knocked Anderson down in her haste to get to his refrigerator. She ripped open the freezer door hr eyes scanning the shelves for the felt doll. She found the Sherlock doll slumped over on its side. Gently she took the little doll out of the freezer and brushed the frost that had formed on its head away with her pinky.
“I took Lestrade to the hospital because he got a call from John that Sherlock was hypothermic and no one could find a reason why” she said. Anderson gaped at her. Sally held the Sherlock doll in her hand and was trying to wrap her mind around everything that had gone on. “Sherlock’s brother told us he was dying, or at least that was his understanding of the situation.”
“I don’t know how this happened. I didn’t set out to make voodoo dolls. All I wanted was something to yell at when I got home after Sherlock insulted me” Anderson said. “I got a doll pattern from a craft website and just went on from there.”
Sally took the Sherlock doll and placed it down her shirt so it was sitting in between her breasts held in place by her bra. “What are you doing” Anderson asked? “When I was kid I found a tiny puppy outside in the rain. It was so cold that it wasn’t going to make enough heat to keep itself warm so I put it in my shirt and took it home. Same principal I’m guessing” She said.
“Now what” Anderson asked? “About a year ago there was an occult bookstore that was robbed. The owner told me if I ever needed any help with anything paranormal to come to her and she’d help me out.” She took Anderson’s hands and placed them around the John doll as if he were holding a delicate bird. “We are going to drop by and take her up on her offer.”
Lestrade was sitting with John in the emergency room waiting area. They were waiting for a bed to become available so they could send John for x-rays. “You doing okay” Lestrade asked? “No, but I have been much worse” John said. Mycroft walked over to the two. “Sherlock’s condition is improving just as mysteriously as it declined.”
“Well, that’s some good news” Lestrade said. “Yes it is” John agreed. “I’m sorry about all that” Mycroft waved his hand in vague gesture to refer to the events of an hour ago. “I might have over reacted myself” John said. “Yes, well in any rate I think they are going to call you soon” Mycroft said gesturing to the nurses station.
“I doubt it” John said. “You could be bleeding to death on the tile and you’ll still have to wait three to four hours to…” John was cut off by his name being called by a nurse. As he got up Lestrade turned to Mycroft “How did you do that” he asked?
By the time Sally and Anderson arrived at Kitchen Counter Craft Occult Bookstore the proprietor was pulling the grate down on the darkened store front. “Hey wait” Sally called out to the woman. “Sergeant Donovan? It’s been a long time” The woman said smiling.
“Yeah it has. Look” Sally had to think for a moment to remember the woman’s name “Monet right?” “That’s me” Monet replied. “ We need your help. Anderson here got into something magical and it has almost killed two people.”
Monet looked over at Anderson who looked as if he wanted to crawl away from her gaze. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to” he said. Monet’s eyes narrowed at him. She sighed and pushed the grate back up and unlocked the store door and held it open for the both of them.
The inside of the shop looked much like any other book store. Monet lead them into the back room. This room was largely unremarkable as well. Shelves with neatly labeled boxes lined the walls and a rather worn dining room table was in the middle of the room. Monet pulled a stool over to the table “So tell me everything and leave no details out.”
“ There is this guy. His name is Sherlock and he is a complete asshole. He’s a condescending socially inept douche who comes walking into my job telling me that I and the rest of my coworkers are stupid and incompetent. Just because he’s some sort of genius mental case.” Monet waited patiently for Anderson to stop ranting.
“The thing is he is almost always right and that drives me insane. So I made this doll of him” Anderson gestured to Sally who then took the doll out of her shirt and placed it carefully on the table. Monet raised an eyebrow. “He always has snappy comebacks to any insult you hurl at him so I just wanted something to vent on that wouldn’t interrupt me by tell me I’m not insulting him correctly.”
“He also has this friend. His name is John” Anderson placed the John doll on the table next to the Sherlock doll. “Ever since John moved in with Sherlock they are always together. I don’t have anything against John. The bag of felt I bought had extra pieces so I decided to make him as well.”
“Let me guess” Monet said. “You made the John doll not just because you had extra pieces but you couldn’t see having one with out the other right?” Anderson looked down at the two little dolls on the table. “I guess” he said.
“He put the Sherlock doll in the freezer” Sally said. “So my boss gets a call that Sherlock is in the hospital with unexplainable hypothermia and while we are there I saw John’s arm break before my eyes. No one was near enough and no one’s arm just snaps like that. Then I get a call from him to come over and that’s when he told me he stepped on the dolls arm.”
“By accident. I didn’t mean to step on it. I didn’t see it on the floor. I had put it next to me on the couch” Anderson said. Sally’s phone vibrated.
SH is improving and John’s arm is going to be set soon- GL
“Lestrade sent me a text. Sherlock’s getting better and John’s arm is being looked at” Sally said. “Well of course Sherlock is getting better. You took the poor man out of the freezer” Monet said.
“I know exactly what happened. You” she said pointing at Anderson “wanted revenge and held malicious contempt in your heart for this man. So you decide to make his likeness” she pointed at the doll “for the purpose of receiving your anger. You wanted harm to come to him and I will bet you money that’s what you were thinking about when you made the doll. Am I right?”
“Yes, except I didn’t want any actual harm to come to anyone” Anderson said. “Doing a task with intent and emotion involved is a spell and not only did you cast one, but you cast a whopper of a spell. Since you didn’t know what you were doing you could not have predicted the outcome. Besides you probably didn’t believe in all this before and it didn’t enter into the realm of possibility that anything like this could happen” Monet said.
“How do I fix it” Anderson asked? “You won’t do anything until I tell you” Monet said. “After that you will never do anything like this again. The universe won’t forgive you again because you now know the consequences. I’d hate to see what threefold of hypothermia and a broken arm will get you.”
Sherlock’s first rational though in several hours was “what’s that sound?” It was deep rhythmic rumble with a whistle in the middle and a squeak on the end. The squeak on the end was what gave the noise away. “Mycroft” he croaked when opening his eyes was proving to be more than a challenge than it normally had been.
As expected Mycroft Holmes snorted twice and gasped once before coming fully awake. Sherlock had estimated that his brother had been in a deep sleep for a few hours because otherwise Mycroft would have just groaned and started talking. “I’m here, I’m here” Mycroft said just like he did when Sherlock would wake him up in the middle of the night when they were children.
“I must be dying” Sherlock said “to have you keeping vigil at my bedside.” He could hear Mycroft shift in his chair and a pop that was probably his neck. “I can tell by your fidgeting and lack of quick response that I must be right.”
“Or I could just still be dazed with sleep and uncomfortable in this terrible plastic chair” Mycroft replied. “You are avoiding the subject” Sherlock interjected. “You were brought by ambulance to the hospital hypothermic and delirious. There was no clear cause and nothing the doctors could do was helping. Then as suddenly as it started it stopped. Your core temperature returned to normal range” Mycroft explained.
Sherlock went to rub his eyes but found his hand restrained. He tried to move the other and found it immobile as well. He spent a moment pulling at his bonds before Mycroft’s hand was on his chest. “Calm down. You’re alright. You became violent and had to be restrained. You’ve been in a medically induced coma for the past eight hours.”
Sherlock relaxed back into the bed and opened his eyes. He glanced around the dim hospital room. “John is here. He’s in the waiting room” Mycroft said anticipating the question. “The last I saw of him he his arm was just set and he was giggling from the pain medication.”
“What happened to him” Sherlock asked? “I don’t know Sherlock. John was angry with me for letting them restrain you and then both of the bones of his extended arm just snapped. One of the doctors theorized extreme stress caused a massive muscle spasm that caused the bone to break.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard” Sherlock said. “I think so too” Mycroft replied.
In the darkened corner of the park Sally stood watch as Anderson used Monet’s borrowed garden trowel to bury the pieces of the carefully dismantled dolls. It took two hours of careful deconstruction that required an incantation in between each stitch being snipped. During the entire ordeal Sally could hardly breathe waiting for a text from Lestrade telling her either John or Sherlock or both were dead.
When her phone vibrated the only text she received was from Lestrade telling her Sherlock was conscious and John was fine. When she showed Anderson the text he exhaled as if he was deflating from relief.
“That should do it” Anderson said as he replaced the grass on top of the hole he dug trying to make it look as if the ground hadn’t been disturbed. “Don’t forget to burn that candle that Monet gave you. I don’t want anything like this ever happening again” Sally said.
“You don’t want anything like this to happen again? I can’t even think about what happened this time” Anderson said. “I should have asked if there was anything I could get tattooed on me to keep this from happening again.”
“I’m going to go back to the hospital. I drove Lestrade there and I feel like I should be there” Sally said. “I’m not going” Anderson replied. “I just can’t face them.
“It’s blue Sherlock” John said as he giggled and showed off his cast. The pain medication had the doctor happily dazed. Sherlock had been hoping to get more information out of John about the events leading up to their respective situations but it was clear that wasn’t going to happen.
“I had an odd dream” Sherlock said. “What about” John asked? “I was pinned down from all sides. I couldn’t move my arms or legs. I felt as if I were stuck in between to living mountains, but it didn’t bother me because they were warm. Warmth surrounded me as well as a familiar pleasant smell. I couldn’t see but I could hear muffled voices. Mostly I could hear a heart beat that lulled me to sleep.”
Sherlock looked over to John who was busy counting his fingers. He sighed “when you come down off of whatever high you’re on we are going to have a long discussion.”
It was a few weeks later that Sherlock and John were back at a crime scene. Both of them had been through a myriad of medical tests to try and figure out an explanation for what happened to them. None of the tests came back conclusive for anything.
While the other officers at the scene were trying to find a spot left on John’s cast to sign Sherlock walked over to Sally. “What happened to the puppy” he asked? Sally looked up at him puzzled. “You said when you were young you found a puppy in the rain and put it in your shirt to keep it warm until you could bring it home.”
“You heard me say that” Sally asked? “Yes, I did” Sherlock said. “It… it died. I didn’t find it in time and when I got it home the puppy was dead” Sally said. “About that whole situation” Sally paused trying to get her thoughts in order. “I can’t begin to explain…”
“It’s alright” Sherlock interrupted. “Just if Anderson feels like getting artsy again just try and get him to take up cake decorating or something.”