A Change
Ive decided that i can never delete this account. Recollections from ninth grade on are never to be deleted into cyber space. They are too fucking pathetically funny. So I have decided to make a change. Not like anyone reads this anyways but I hope they will after the change. This will now be funny stories of my life while living in the ghetto of downtown charleston south carolina. Note: I am one out of 3 white girls that roam my street. So when i say ghetto, i mean it. I am officially the minority and my funny stories need to be read by my stoner friends. They need to know. Especially the ones from Mass. (my roommates are going to make fun of me forever for this.)
So here it goes:
I have yet to move in, I've been subletting my room to a friend for the summer until August 1st. But I convenientally work about 4 blocks from the house downtown so I'm there on a daily basis. Just about 2 weeks ago Wyatt Billy and I were sitting on our front porch very baked smoking a cig. The local crackheads (and when i say crackheads i mean legit crack addicts) chill on the stoop next to my house and are seen from my porch. The cops roll by routinely and make sure everything is in check. The cops roll by and poor out a mans beer and tell him to move on. The cop rolls out and the man attempts to start walking away. He fails horribley and is clutching onto the side of my house trying to steady himself. One step backwards and he falls like a tree onto his back onto my gravel driveway. The locals are yellin at him "man get up. you lookin like a fool" and he's screaming something along the lines of (and translated): leave me alone. fuck the police. i will piss on them if they come near me again. I ran from that cop (now you fell backwards from that cop). At this moment he whips out his dick. (first black dick ive seen) and begins to piss to the side of him while smoking a cigarette. At this point we're all sitting there laughing so hard and we have the brilliant idea to call the cops. The redneck southern pride cop arrived and attempted to get the man to stand up but it was a fail. So he cuffed the crackhead and drags him by his cuffs across my gravel driveway. Picked the man up by his torso and throws it in the car. The other half of his body was then thrown over his head like he was a pretzel. The cop then nodded at us and drove off. Note: the mans genitals were out the entire time.
I love the ghetto.
So here it goes:
I have yet to move in, I've been subletting my room to a friend for the summer until August 1st. But I convenientally work about 4 blocks from the house downtown so I'm there on a daily basis. Just about 2 weeks ago Wyatt Billy and I were sitting on our front porch very baked smoking a cig. The local crackheads (and when i say crackheads i mean legit crack addicts) chill on the stoop next to my house and are seen from my porch. The cops roll by routinely and make sure everything is in check. The cops roll by and poor out a mans beer and tell him to move on. The cop rolls out and the man attempts to start walking away. He fails horribley and is clutching onto the side of my house trying to steady himself. One step backwards and he falls like a tree onto his back onto my gravel driveway. The locals are yellin at him "man get up. you lookin like a fool" and he's screaming something along the lines of (and translated): leave me alone. fuck the police. i will piss on them if they come near me again. I ran from that cop (now you fell backwards from that cop). At this moment he whips out his dick. (first black dick ive seen) and begins to piss to the side of him while smoking a cigarette. At this point we're all sitting there laughing so hard and we have the brilliant idea to call the cops. The redneck southern pride cop arrived and attempted to get the man to stand up but it was a fail. So he cuffed the crackhead and drags him by his cuffs across my gravel driveway. Picked the man up by his torso and throws it in the car. The other half of his body was then thrown over his head like he was a pretzel. The cop then nodded at us and drove off. Note: the mans genitals were out the entire time.
I love the ghetto.