Epiphany.
Well, tonight was more than enjoyable. It marked the return of the frisbee nights with people I respect. Nothing I enjoy more. Not just frisbee, but frisbee with those individuals. LoL I don't want to sound gay, praising a select few males, but they have my respect. Well anyways, I personally went 3-0, being on those 3 winning teams of the night, and had a few good blocks. Everybody does great. Matt had a few great catches, as did I, and Justin, and Bob, and Schlau, and hell EVERYBODY. I love it. After that, it was my absolute favorite time of the day: Sarah time.
Well we started out with ping pong, of course, since we haven't played in ages, and then we had talked for a while about silly stuff, :), and then we had a deeper, more serious convo. We talked about the past, the present, the future, and made a deal that if "Daddy is God" isn't the first words out of my son's mouth, he's gonna be Catholic. Then the more we talked, the more epiphanies I had. It all turned into be just a huge gut check for me. I, *sigh*, I don't know whether I'm in a weird mood now, or actually being myself, but...I have been cocky. I don't know why I've thought, said, or done some of the things I've done lately. LoL It started out me and Sarah having a conversation about how I was God, and I just kept going for the sole purpose of seeing her reactions. But that was all in good fun, and as we got more serious, I degraded to the most perfect human on the planet, and as got more serious, THAT degraded into me having an epiphany that, I'm not God. I'm not the most perfect person on the planet, I'm sure. I'm me. I'm Stach. That's all that matters. I will be all that I can be. Then we started talking about the past, among other things, and then bam. Another epiphany. Just, yeah, I love Sarah. I do. I love her a lot. And I know I'd do anything for her, but bringing up this one night in particular, where I cried cause I hurt her, I realized that she really is my world. I love her more than anything, and I'd do anything for her. I don't want to lose her at all. I'd rather be dead. Well for the final though.
Respect. To me, one of the most, if not THE most emotion to attain. Hate me, or love me, but I'll do anything to achieve your respect. I respect everybody I know, well, with a few exceptions, whether I like them or hate them. And lately, I've been too damn focused on myself and my achievements to notice what others think. It'll cause me to lose people that mean a great deal to me. I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes, I've been cocky and self-centered. Statistics don't always win. On the way home from Sarah's house, I was just thinking and a nice quote came into my head that I made up. Actions speak louder than words, but words still speak. To me, that means that it's not always about who wins, and who's the best, which, my whole life, that's all that mattered. Sure, I won't lie, I can do most things better than a lot of people, but, it's how you do it. You can get the winning kill, or winning goal, but then be a cocky bastard and tell everybody to suck your nuts or kiss your ass and try to break 5, and nobody's gonna give a FUCK about what you achieve. Oh yes, words still speak. So, I must work on that. I've found my main flaw. I must quit trying to attain perfection, and working on being the one thing I can be. Myself.
And tonight, I also did something to restart my life. It's gone. It's gone for good.
< sigh > :) I can look back with a smile. I'm content.
And thanks, Eel, for the introduction to Less Than Jake. Love it.
Well we started out with ping pong, of course, since we haven't played in ages, and then we had talked for a while about silly stuff, :), and then we had a deeper, more serious convo. We talked about the past, the present, the future, and made a deal that if "Daddy is God" isn't the first words out of my son's mouth, he's gonna be Catholic. Then the more we talked, the more epiphanies I had. It all turned into be just a huge gut check for me. I, *sigh*, I don't know whether I'm in a weird mood now, or actually being myself, but...I have been cocky. I don't know why I've thought, said, or done some of the things I've done lately. LoL It started out me and Sarah having a conversation about how I was God, and I just kept going for the sole purpose of seeing her reactions. But that was all in good fun, and as we got more serious, I degraded to the most perfect human on the planet, and as got more serious, THAT degraded into me having an epiphany that, I'm not God. I'm not the most perfect person on the planet, I'm sure. I'm me. I'm Stach. That's all that matters. I will be all that I can be. Then we started talking about the past, among other things, and then bam. Another epiphany. Just, yeah, I love Sarah. I do. I love her a lot. And I know I'd do anything for her, but bringing up this one night in particular, where I cried cause I hurt her, I realized that she really is my world. I love her more than anything, and I'd do anything for her. I don't want to lose her at all. I'd rather be dead. Well for the final though.
Respect. To me, one of the most, if not THE most emotion to attain. Hate me, or love me, but I'll do anything to achieve your respect. I respect everybody I know, well, with a few exceptions, whether I like them or hate them. And lately, I've been too damn focused on myself and my achievements to notice what others think. It'll cause me to lose people that mean a great deal to me. I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes, I've been cocky and self-centered. Statistics don't always win. On the way home from Sarah's house, I was just thinking and a nice quote came into my head that I made up. Actions speak louder than words, but words still speak. To me, that means that it's not always about who wins, and who's the best, which, my whole life, that's all that mattered. Sure, I won't lie, I can do most things better than a lot of people, but, it's how you do it. You can get the winning kill, or winning goal, but then be a cocky bastard and tell everybody to suck your nuts or kiss your ass and try to break 5, and nobody's gonna give a FUCK about what you achieve. Oh yes, words still speak. So, I must work on that. I've found my main flaw. I must quit trying to attain perfection, and working on being the one thing I can be. Myself.
And tonight, I also did something to restart my life. It's gone. It's gone for good.
< sigh > :) I can look back with a smile. I'm content.
And thanks, Eel, for the introduction to Less Than Jake. Love it.