I wonder if this is what it feels like when a toy's batteries run dry
So it has been a very trying time in my life as of late. i have been having a lot of up and downs. A lot of diff things pulling at me. I also have been drinking a a lot.... Not maybe a lot at one time but i have drank like the past 4 or so days.... and i have been eating a lot and well I am up to 191 pounds now... this is the most i have ever weighed. So but i have been working out too but i dont think that is muscle weight gain... i think to be more of a fat gain... from the beer and all the junk i have been shoving in my face. So to fix this i have kicked up my working out time and also bought some vitamins and a few other things from GNC i have bought to help me recover from my intensive workouts. I dont do the whole creatine thing because i think that is cheating but i did get the stuff that helps your muscles repair them selves and prevents soreness... i hope they work. So in parts of events going... had a poker tourny on st pattys day and that was fun didnt win but it was fun then saturday was Jim's bday so went out for that and had fun sunday I cleaned my car and went and bought a few cd's and stuff fron gnc when i went to buy socks and running shoes... never got the socks or shoes.... while shopping I ran into a old friend and hung out and talked to her for awhile at the mall then i headed out to go out to dinner with a diff old friend that i hadnt heard from in like 6 or more months.... needless to say i got stood up so then i went and met jim and nik at best buy and nik bought a $2000 LG tv it kicks ass its a flat screen and hdtv and yeah it kicks ass and has a place to hook up a comp up to it an use as a computer screen it is sweet already pplayed World of War Craft on it. so after we bought the tv we went to Applebee's to eat and have a few drinks so we just set up at the bar there and well after there for about a half hour one of my ex girlfriend shows up... already not having a good day and heres another thing to shit on me so her and another girl sit at the bar and well she says hi to jim and nik and ignores me then i try to be nice say hi and i get a dirty look and well yeah it was a great time for me... i am just really really tired of being walked. I might be just to nice and i should just be an ass hole and just not care but sadly enough i cant bring myself to doing that. Last night after all this happened i drove around... smoked a cig... yeah bad thing wont be doing it again.. but i was driving and yeah i was a little buzzed from everything and i kept telling myself why do i care why dont i jsut be an ass and just not care and i couldnt bring myself to it. I guess i will stay nice and just keep getting walked on i guess.... thats why i have decided to just throw myself fully into martial art and weight lifting and just stay single. i am having fun just chilling with jim and nik going out and just having fun. Ok i am going to stop this rant and go buy some health food to start talking to work and what not so i can get back into shape.... Peace for now and i wish better days then i have been having