.............nothing
I felt sick.... and I made myself throw up. I feel guilty:(
I don't know what is going on with me but I'm never happy anymore. I feel like I can't get anything right and nothing goes right for me.
I don't have many friends as I ustu. The friends I thought I once had, have let me down one by one. No one understands me. I don't know what I do to make people get away from me. It's like a push them away with my stupidity or something. I don't get it.
I don't think that I can take this anymore. I am not doing that well in school. I probobly fucked up my new job because I took two puffs of weed. I haven't met any guys and the ones that I do know just want to be friends. I'm sick of this shit. I thought that things were going better but they are not. I probobly wont get into the Ai California Design COllege just because they think that I am too stupid for that school. For god sakes I go to perimeter. I'm not one of the smart ones. I will probobly end up working at gap forever.......Id kill myself before that.
I don't know why but when I get like this(wich is every night) I just sit on my bed in silence and the images that pop in my head are horrible. They are so bad that I can't even say it. Lets just say that after what happens in my head I wont be in this world anymore. I feel guilty after this but yet more images keep poping into my head.
I am not doing anything that I want to do. Im going to school because I have to. I work at a place that I dont like but I have to make money, as little as it is. I just wish that I was out there living life seeing the world, doing things that I like to do. But no instead I am stuck here in fucking gay lilburn georgia. I hate this state so much. Im sick of this place, this life, this damn world.
Everyone lives to heart each other and i dont want to live in this typer of world. I just wish there was someone that was there for me all the time to show me the nice things in life, but there isn't. There is just me and all I see is sadness, distruction, and death.......
Sometimes I wish that I wasn't dealing with all this shit....I wish that someone else was. If I was gone I doubt anyone would miss me. Well maybe Sarah and my cat....but everyone else would go on with their lives.........
I know this is such a dark view of life. I also know that this is weird and that it doesn't sound like me. I run around with this smile on my face all the time acting like i don't have a care in world. Acting like I am esy going and just take one day at a time. But in reality that is just my ADHD and I am really dreading everyday that comes. I dread what will I mess up the next day and what will go wrong. I guess you could say that I am a very lonely person.
Its true what they say, You may be sorounded by so many people but still feel alone...THat is my theme i guess.
Whoever reads this should take this as information and don't speak of it (I know only one person will read this)
Peace up A town down sarah:)
I don't know what is going on with me but I'm never happy anymore. I feel like I can't get anything right and nothing goes right for me.
I don't have many friends as I ustu. The friends I thought I once had, have let me down one by one. No one understands me. I don't know what I do to make people get away from me. It's like a push them away with my stupidity or something. I don't get it.
I don't think that I can take this anymore. I am not doing that well in school. I probobly fucked up my new job because I took two puffs of weed. I haven't met any guys and the ones that I do know just want to be friends. I'm sick of this shit. I thought that things were going better but they are not. I probobly wont get into the Ai California Design COllege just because they think that I am too stupid for that school. For god sakes I go to perimeter. I'm not one of the smart ones. I will probobly end up working at gap forever.......Id kill myself before that.
I don't know why but when I get like this(wich is every night) I just sit on my bed in silence and the images that pop in my head are horrible. They are so bad that I can't even say it. Lets just say that after what happens in my head I wont be in this world anymore. I feel guilty after this but yet more images keep poping into my head.
I am not doing anything that I want to do. Im going to school because I have to. I work at a place that I dont like but I have to make money, as little as it is. I just wish that I was out there living life seeing the world, doing things that I like to do. But no instead I am stuck here in fucking gay lilburn georgia. I hate this state so much. Im sick of this place, this life, this damn world.
Everyone lives to heart each other and i dont want to live in this typer of world. I just wish there was someone that was there for me all the time to show me the nice things in life, but there isn't. There is just me and all I see is sadness, distruction, and death.......
Sometimes I wish that I wasn't dealing with all this shit....I wish that someone else was. If I was gone I doubt anyone would miss me. Well maybe Sarah and my cat....but everyone else would go on with their lives.........
I know this is such a dark view of life. I also know that this is weird and that it doesn't sound like me. I run around with this smile on my face all the time acting like i don't have a care in world. Acting like I am esy going and just take one day at a time. But in reality that is just my ADHD and I am really dreading everyday that comes. I dread what will I mess up the next day and what will go wrong. I guess you could say that I am a very lonely person.
Its true what they say, You may be sorounded by so many people but still feel alone...THat is my theme i guess.
Whoever reads this should take this as information and don't speak of it (I know only one person will read this)
Peace up A town down sarah:)