nothing to say, nowhere to be
Since it's 1 in the morning on Tuesday as I post this, I guess I can say that I'm moving out tomorrow. The 12th, that is. Or, possibly, today in the evening or night. Either way, I'm happy to be leaving this house. It was fine at first, but now I'm so thoroughly sick of it that I just can't wait to leave. To be honest, I've probably been a horrible tenant as well.
Four months have really flown by though. I feel as though I've never really settled in, like I'm waiting for all these things to begin happening.
At the same time though, (and aren't I just a paradigm of dichotomies) I feel much more comfortable here than before. Anyway, it doesn't really matter and I'm not in the mood to elaborate on it so much. But the abridged version of this halfbaked thought is that Mexico isn't the bad guy for me anymore. And that's pretty alright in my book.
Who knows how Alejandro and I are doing. I sure don't. It's sort of a roller coaster for me. I don't even know if I want it to get better or for it to just fizzle out. I can't be the only person to ever have felt this way, but right now I sure fucking feel like it.
I guess it's sort of this weird loving apathy. I can't really describe it. It's really more of an indigo when it comes to the emotional spectrum - they say it's not a color, but we all know it's there.
Day after tomorrow we're driving to Acapulco, then on the 17th up to Guadalajara for Christmas with Mom and Jimmy. She finally got out of the US and into Mexico. It was really hairy for a while. It's still hairy. I'm not going to go into that either, because honestly it just causes too much heartache and takes way too much energy to think about it. Anyway, after that I'll be flying on to Jamaica for new year's, and then FINALLY back to Houston.
I've been living out of two suitcases since the beginning of May. It'll have been nine months in transit before I can unpack my life again. Nine months, that's gestation, not the time it takes for a young woman to pretend to find herself and just end up more lost than ever.
Well, I've got nothing more to say for now. Here's a big picture dump of what's been my millieu for the past few months. Beware recurring imagery and themes. Unfortunately my creativity is neither broad nor vast. I'm kind of a skipping record - or at least it seems as though I have been, based on the pictures I chose to show.
'the magic light of exclusivity'
Four months have really flown by though. I feel as though I've never really settled in, like I'm waiting for all these things to begin happening.
At the same time though, (and aren't I just a paradigm of dichotomies) I feel much more comfortable here than before. Anyway, it doesn't really matter and I'm not in the mood to elaborate on it so much. But the abridged version of this halfbaked thought is that Mexico isn't the bad guy for me anymore. And that's pretty alright in my book.
Who knows how Alejandro and I are doing. I sure don't. It's sort of a roller coaster for me. I don't even know if I want it to get better or for it to just fizzle out. I can't be the only person to ever have felt this way, but right now I sure fucking feel like it.
I guess it's sort of this weird loving apathy. I can't really describe it. It's really more of an indigo when it comes to the emotional spectrum - they say it's not a color, but we all know it's there.
Day after tomorrow we're driving to Acapulco, then on the 17th up to Guadalajara for Christmas with Mom and Jimmy. She finally got out of the US and into Mexico. It was really hairy for a while. It's still hairy. I'm not going to go into that either, because honestly it just causes too much heartache and takes way too much energy to think about it. Anyway, after that I'll be flying on to Jamaica for new year's, and then FINALLY back to Houston.
I've been living out of two suitcases since the beginning of May. It'll have been nine months in transit before I can unpack my life again. Nine months, that's gestation, not the time it takes for a young woman to pretend to find herself and just end up more lost than ever.
Well, I've got nothing more to say for now. Here's a big picture dump of what's been my millieu for the past few months. Beware recurring imagery and themes. Unfortunately my creativity is neither broad nor vast. I'm kind of a skipping record - or at least it seems as though I have been, based on the pictures I chose to show.
'the magic light of exclusivity'