Then and Now
A lot has changed in the last five years, I am not the man I once was. I like to think it is for the better but I am no so sure these days. I am 26 and still in school, struggling to keep my head above water in a difficult major. I have gone from Business to Mathematics, and I find to course work far more interesting and challenging. I do not regret changing majors so much, I have knowledge and skills that most people do not. However, being 26 and still is in college kind of sucks hard core. If all goes well I will have my degree in hand by this time next your.
"if all goes well", right now my health has been a problem for me. I have been suffering from headaches most every night since midterm exams. Studying has been hard to do when you have no strength and your will is broken by pain and exhaustion. The doctor I have been seeing thinks its brought on by stress and depression, I don't know what to think. The pain and exhaustion ware away at me till I have no mental fortitude left. There have been days were all I manage is to lie in bed whispering to my self "I want to go home" over and over.
I fear that I will be taking the next semester off, and putting my degree off until I am stronger, both mentally and physical. My father has offered to help me get a job at his bank, to which I am happy to take. I had worked their before as a Teller, and found the work very enjoyable. The people are nice and the pay is good, plus the insurance will be welcomed if these headache prove to more than stress (to which I fear greatly).
What wares away at me the most is not the headaches though, it is the loneliness I feel. being 26 in a world full of bright eyes 20 year olds is difficult. And, so long as I am having the headaches it is hard to make myself get out and meet people. Most nights I stay in my room playing WoW, or talking to an old friend on skype.
I think it is time to take some advice my grandfather game me, "some time you just have to give it all up and go get a job". It is good advice, I do not have much school debt and I have learned much. But more importantly, am man feels a lot more like a man when he has good honest work.
I miss working, my last job was over a year ago, at my fathers bank. Like is said earlier, I was working as a teller, and enjoyed the work. It wasn't hard, but you did have to stay in a good mood for the customers. I loved that job, I don't know why but the job made me happy. To be honest I think that was the last time I felt happy was at that job.
However, I could not have stayed at that job, I needed to go back to school. I had taken some time off because I was tired. It was not the kind of tired from not getting enough sleep. I was a Bilbo Baggins kind of tired "like butter spreed over to much toast".
"if all goes well", right now my health has been a problem for me. I have been suffering from headaches most every night since midterm exams. Studying has been hard to do when you have no strength and your will is broken by pain and exhaustion. The doctor I have been seeing thinks its brought on by stress and depression, I don't know what to think. The pain and exhaustion ware away at me till I have no mental fortitude left. There have been days were all I manage is to lie in bed whispering to my self "I want to go home" over and over.
I fear that I will be taking the next semester off, and putting my degree off until I am stronger, both mentally and physical. My father has offered to help me get a job at his bank, to which I am happy to take. I had worked their before as a Teller, and found the work very enjoyable. The people are nice and the pay is good, plus the insurance will be welcomed if these headache prove to more than stress (to which I fear greatly).
What wares away at me the most is not the headaches though, it is the loneliness I feel. being 26 in a world full of bright eyes 20 year olds is difficult. And, so long as I am having the headaches it is hard to make myself get out and meet people. Most nights I stay in my room playing WoW, or talking to an old friend on skype.
I think it is time to take some advice my grandfather game me, "some time you just have to give it all up and go get a job". It is good advice, I do not have much school debt and I have learned much. But more importantly, am man feels a lot more like a man when he has good honest work.
I miss working, my last job was over a year ago, at my fathers bank. Like is said earlier, I was working as a teller, and enjoyed the work. It wasn't hard, but you did have to stay in a good mood for the customers. I loved that job, I don't know why but the job made me happy. To be honest I think that was the last time I felt happy was at that job.
However, I could not have stayed at that job, I needed to go back to school. I had taken some time off because I was tired. It was not the kind of tired from not getting enough sleep. I was a Bilbo Baggins kind of tired "like butter spreed over to much toast".