Yes i am alive.
I have good news. I think i'm falling in love.
I went to the webn fireworks and i met an amazing guy. His name is harrison and he lives in lexington. He's... there really isn't any words to describe him. He is so gorgeous, and he likes me. for me. no strings attached, no catches or anything, he likes me for me. Around here there is absolutely no one that likes me (like that). There's something about him that drives me insane. His look his touch, hell just about everything. I went down and stayed the weekend at my uncle sammys over halloween break. I stayed with harrison during the day. I think that i am getting in way over my head with him. I've always been unable to associate with anyone like i do him. I don't know anymore. I am afraid of getting hurt. Yes kayla is afraid of getting hurt. funny isn't it?
He makes me insane. I'm so scared to lost him because he is actually keeping me grounded. Funnily enough he feels the same way. He was a cutter and i stopped awhile ago. well i had stopped about a week ago i made him feel so damn bad i cut. There's a huge cut on my wrist and the word hate carved underneath it. I hate the way i am treated and i hate the way i seem to treat people. Actually due to my incredibly fucked up life i've grown to hate myself. I look at myself so negatively- i dunno. Harrison doesn't. He tells me that i'm so beautiful and that i have the sexiest legs. he's making me feel better about myself which isn't bad but i'll end up getting hurt. I just have a feeling i will.
During that halloween stay, harrison's friend johnny came over. Johnny likes me ALOT. and harrison got really protective. I mean he was JEALOUS. it was sorta funny to me because i had never been fought over before. it was a totally new experience. That weekend was the first weekend i had ever gotten totally fried before. it was actually funny. I went to the rocky horror picture show, and got drug around on a leash. i'm falling inlove and it hurts. it hurts me whenever i think of how lonely i use to be and how everything was shit. i wish i hadn't cut though. It was my fault for hurting harrison though... and what do i do? i hurt myself more.
At the aademic team match this guy name pete came up to me. he knew my name and i gave him my number. it wasn't that i was pissed at harrison (okay at the time i was because i found out that a girl named kelsey gave him head) it was that i hadn't ever had someone jsut come up and ask for my number. he's from a really strict catholic family and it sucks for him. He's stuck in the boy scouts too. something to do with a car or something like that. he is uber cute though. he lives in carrollton and he turned 16 on nov 13. he likes the piercings- all of them (LOL) all 24 of them.
wow i make myself out to sound like such awhore.i like pete- pete likes me. i like harrison- harrison likes me. i like johnny(somewhat anyway- i like his hair) and harrison likes me. Wowie zowie what a whore. hmm... i dunno though i guess that i'm in shock that anyone likes me. i guess i'm somewhat stuck.
I'm sorry i haven't updated this in a long while but with marching band and my lack of computer it's been hard. i'm moving in with gena now. since my grandma is moving back to pend. county i wanted to stay in williamstown school district (okay i really wanna move in with sammy who said he'd take me and go to dunbar with harrison but yeah) so i have to move in with gena. and corey is moving in with andrew.
What else has happened to me since i posted last? hmmm... crystal and i fixed things. things will never be like they once were but i am glad things have been patched up with her. Our marching band won the class a state championship. yay go band (with like oh my god so much enthusiasm). i keep writing alot so my next post will be a poem. or whatever the hell you wanna call it.
I'm going to be applying for gsp (astronomy), gsa (creative writing) and a muarry state thing. Hopefully i don't totally suck and not get into any of them. well until later i'm off.
I went to the webn fireworks and i met an amazing guy. His name is harrison and he lives in lexington. He's... there really isn't any words to describe him. He is so gorgeous, and he likes me. for me. no strings attached, no catches or anything, he likes me for me. Around here there is absolutely no one that likes me (like that). There's something about him that drives me insane. His look his touch, hell just about everything. I went down and stayed the weekend at my uncle sammys over halloween break. I stayed with harrison during the day. I think that i am getting in way over my head with him. I've always been unable to associate with anyone like i do him. I don't know anymore. I am afraid of getting hurt. Yes kayla is afraid of getting hurt. funny isn't it?
He makes me insane. I'm so scared to lost him because he is actually keeping me grounded. Funnily enough he feels the same way. He was a cutter and i stopped awhile ago. well i had stopped about a week ago i made him feel so damn bad i cut. There's a huge cut on my wrist and the word hate carved underneath it. I hate the way i am treated and i hate the way i seem to treat people. Actually due to my incredibly fucked up life i've grown to hate myself. I look at myself so negatively- i dunno. Harrison doesn't. He tells me that i'm so beautiful and that i have the sexiest legs. he's making me feel better about myself which isn't bad but i'll end up getting hurt. I just have a feeling i will.
During that halloween stay, harrison's friend johnny came over. Johnny likes me ALOT. and harrison got really protective. I mean he was JEALOUS. it was sorta funny to me because i had never been fought over before. it was a totally new experience. That weekend was the first weekend i had ever gotten totally fried before. it was actually funny. I went to the rocky horror picture show, and got drug around on a leash. i'm falling inlove and it hurts. it hurts me whenever i think of how lonely i use to be and how everything was shit. i wish i hadn't cut though. It was my fault for hurting harrison though... and what do i do? i hurt myself more.
At the aademic team match this guy name pete came up to me. he knew my name and i gave him my number. it wasn't that i was pissed at harrison (okay at the time i was because i found out that a girl named kelsey gave him head) it was that i hadn't ever had someone jsut come up and ask for my number. he's from a really strict catholic family and it sucks for him. He's stuck in the boy scouts too. something to do with a car or something like that. he is uber cute though. he lives in carrollton and he turned 16 on nov 13. he likes the piercings- all of them (LOL) all 24 of them.
wow i make myself out to sound like such awhore.i like pete- pete likes me. i like harrison- harrison likes me. i like johnny(somewhat anyway- i like his hair) and harrison likes me. Wowie zowie what a whore. hmm... i dunno though i guess that i'm in shock that anyone likes me. i guess i'm somewhat stuck.
I'm sorry i haven't updated this in a long while but with marching band and my lack of computer it's been hard. i'm moving in with gena now. since my grandma is moving back to pend. county i wanted to stay in williamstown school district (okay i really wanna move in with sammy who said he'd take me and go to dunbar with harrison but yeah) so i have to move in with gena. and corey is moving in with andrew.
What else has happened to me since i posted last? hmmm... crystal and i fixed things. things will never be like they once were but i am glad things have been patched up with her. Our marching band won the class a state championship. yay go band (with like oh my god so much enthusiasm). i keep writing alot so my next post will be a poem. or whatever the hell you wanna call it.
I'm going to be applying for gsp (astronomy), gsa (creative writing) and a muarry state thing. Hopefully i don't totally suck and not get into any of them. well until later i'm off.