damn
Today has been the week from hell. After my friend dying and my brand new shoes getting stolen, not making the softball team etc i slashed my arms to fuck. I cried yesterday so much that my mom yelled at me and threw me out. I felt so dirty because i couldn't help crying. My grandpa came and picked me up from outside and took me home. I felt so FUCKING dirty that I had to take a shower and I just couldn't get the blood off. It was so fucking scary i took a razor to my skin again- and i tried to scrape the dry, caked blood from my arms (I had hidden my arms from everyone because i had on a long sleeved shirt). I really thought I was losing it.
*sigh* I was really really hoping that erica would find me a date to the sweetheats but she didn't and that's ok... i don't think she would wanted me to be there anyway. I'm shunned everywhere I go- so i don't think that up there in Fort Thomas would be any different.
I really need a guy. I mean really. I need someone I can relate to and I really doubt that I can find one in my school. I doubt is as much as i doubt anything....
Supposedly someone brought a gun to school on Thursday to kill the stupid fuck who said that glenn deserved to die. I wish they (whoever it was) would have killed that stupid fuck because all the lunch ladies are now making sure he isn't killed in the lunchroom.
On the oh so very upside I decided that I am going to be forced to go to eku. I'll majour in Forensic science and I'll minor in photography... I wish it could be the other way around but alas my mom thinks that being a photographer is a waste of my life.
Oooh yes. Also I pierced my nose today! It's a diy thing of course and I, hoping that I can go and get my middle bottom lip done one of these days but then i couldn't play my sax- which would interfere with many MANY aspects of my life right now. Guh.
Picks coming soon.
*sigh* I was really really hoping that erica would find me a date to the sweetheats but she didn't and that's ok... i don't think she would wanted me to be there anyway. I'm shunned everywhere I go- so i don't think that up there in Fort Thomas would be any different.
I really need a guy. I mean really. I need someone I can relate to and I really doubt that I can find one in my school. I doubt is as much as i doubt anything....
Supposedly someone brought a gun to school on Thursday to kill the stupid fuck who said that glenn deserved to die. I wish they (whoever it was) would have killed that stupid fuck because all the lunch ladies are now making sure he isn't killed in the lunchroom.
On the oh so very upside I decided that I am going to be forced to go to eku. I'll majour in Forensic science and I'll minor in photography... I wish it could be the other way around but alas my mom thinks that being a photographer is a waste of my life.
Oooh yes. Also I pierced my nose today! It's a diy thing of course and I, hoping that I can go and get my middle bottom lip done one of these days but then i couldn't play my sax- which would interfere with many MANY aspects of my life right now. Guh.
Picks coming soon.